Dia de los Deportes

Today was pretty fun, it was the kids' day off for Dia de los Deportes which is a national holiday in all of Central America I was told. They were actually surprised that we didnt have it in the US!
Kristen and I were in charge of making 'copas' which are snow cones, but totally different than any that we have in the US. They use evaporated and sweet and condensed milk, and its way too good- we ate at least 3 each.

These are some of my favorite pictures from today:

 They played games like Volleyball

 Had some delicious food

 One of my tutor kids named Abbi

 Jimena, one of my Kindergardeners

 Aixa, Tiffany-Preschool

 Jimena, so photogenic!

 Dahlia- Kinder

 Daniela, Tiffany, Amanda

 Kimberly, Aixa- all my students

 The water balloon fights!

I have more photos, but it would fill the page, so everyone should just wait for the facebook to be back up to see more :).

Futures and stuff

Sometimes I feel pretty selfish for thinking about my future, to get a good job, get a degree. I know its not to a point, but why do we worry so much about our future that it consumes our thoughts and dont give a second thought to the Kingdom? Thats what we should be working towards instead of a successful future. We work towards the Kingdom of God because that is our ultimate end and new beginning. Sometimes a successful future is granted to us, its a blessing if that is what is in Gods will for us, if its not we have to be just as thankful.

Sometimes I feel like I am going to have this really cool future, get a cool job and be alright, just alright. Other times I feel like I am going to be working in a coffee shop for the rest of my life wondering where I went wrong and struggling from paycheck to paycheck like now. With the amount of debt that is collected when going to school, it almost seems impossible to get yourself out of the quicksand. It makes you wonder if its worth it. Should I even give school, a degree another thought? How can I afford this?

 I am only 20, 20! How in the world am I so young? And how in the world am I in so much debt already? And why does it surprise me every time I think of my age? I have so much more life to live, I have so many more experiences and adventures and struggles and tears. I know I am not done here. And I know that God provides ways for us, but I just feel like I am stuck in this quicksand.

Maybe this is too personal, but hey, life is personal. Get over it.

La Zoologico!

Today I got to spend the day with the preschool-2nd grades on their trip to the Zoo in Heredia. To give you the right picture, it was an hour and a half bus ride packed with students whose attention spans are less than 2 minutes. They actually behaved well for awhile, they were chanting almost the whole way. And since I was sitting next to the 2nd grade boys they were pretty crazy and wouldnt stay in their seats very well.
When we finally got there it was time to sit for their morning snack before we went in. Im slowly figuring out the Costa Rican customs, it seems like they have breakfast, and then a mid morning snack and then lunch. There is always a scheduled snack, by the time I get to the school at 9:15 there are kids at the picnic tables eating their morning snack. Im not sure if this is a custom or if its a way for the school to make sure that the students arent going crazy telling their teacher theyre hungry all the time. I also notice that Gilda doesnt ever stop cooking it seems. Shes always cooking something and theyre constantly eating almost everytime we go in or out. Which also means we are always jealous.
I took maybe 3 pictures before my camera died... I forgot to charge the battery :(. But I did get to see some cool animals, most of them slept because today, especially in Heredia it was super hot.  I also got to talk to the teachers more, most of the time we were split up, but for the most part I understood and was able to make responses back to them and have them understand me! I was pretty excited about that. I have a long way to go with my Spanish though.
This is also day 1 of no facebook and I already feel better. Facebook shouldnt have that much control over a person, and I have no idea how it became so prevalent in society. I just think I have better things to do than worry about who was online and didnt message me back after a week kind of thing. Its unnecessary and a little stupid, so im glad its gone. I also have been working on my application to Kuyper College, I think I have everything out that needs to go and Im basically waiting for  things to get back to me on whether or not they were sent out. Im a little excited to be a student again. Being a teacher has made me appreciate being a student more. I would really like to be taught instead of doing the teaching sometimes, even though while I am here Im being taught new things everyday. The world being the classroom and all that.
Theres this weird thing about blogs though... People can read this and be updated on what ive done and what Im doing... But without the obligation of my hearing what other people are doing. I have started to miss people, its been over a month that Ive been here so I would really like to be updated on peoples lives.

I felt like I had more to write on this... But I write novels anyways, welcome to what its like to be in my head sometimes.

The Series of Unfortunate Events

I am just going to start out this post with a disclaimer of sorts:
Since there had been a few people that had been hinting at doubting what I am doing in Costa Rica, as in  being here for some sort of vacation. I had decided that I wasnt going to post pictures, or blog about the things that I would do on my own time here in Costa Rica. It was strictly going to be of what I was doing volunteer wise. But the more I thought about it... The more I decided that no, I would write about the things I am doing here... everything. I am in a different country, I will travel when I can, and I would love for everyone to know about it without being afraid of what theyll think of me here. There are so many interesting things that happen, especially culture wise when traveling. Also the funny little things that happen along the way that make it memorable. I will not cheapen myself of the pleasure of retelling. So here it goes....

This weekend we (Matt, Kristen and I) decided that we would go check out this Cafe/bar that had some art galleries in downtown San Jose, we didnt want a late night because our goal for Saturday was to wake up early to go see Volcan Irazu and go to a art festival in Turrialba (it took me way too long to get this name right). And Kristen and I were completely cashed from a hard week at the school.  We went searching for this place all over to find out that it had closed 2 years before and moved... typical. So we decided to go to a different bar that had some great nachos and music the last time we had gone. Only to find out that the person playing that night was the Costa Rican version of Michael Buble, only he wasnt good at all. We went home early,(the nachos were still delicious).
The next morning, Kristen and I woke up super late and were late in meeting Matt at the bus stop. None of us really knew what bus to get on for the Volcano, we had the bus schedule but it lied. So we asked about 5 different people where to go and everyone telling us different ways to get there. I dont know if its that Costa Ricans get kicks out of sending us poor gringos in circles... Or if they actually have no idea, they just give random street numbers and send us on our way. It was the same way when Kristen and I were trying to find the non-existant music store in San Jose all week. Sent completely in circles! After finally making it to the bus stop, we found out we missed the bus, and there was only one per day. Awesome.
Well, plan B. Since we were in Cartago we checked out Los Ruinas, the ruins. This building was destroyed by an earthquake and was rebuilt, 10 years later it was destroyed again by an earthquake so they decided that they would just leave it how it is. Now its just a major attraction in Cartago. So we checked that out, and met a man named Victor, Victor was blind, 60 year old man who was single, and he loved the girls. He really wanted to talk to us and practice his English, so we got caught talking to him for about 15 minutes.... This made us miss our bus into Turrialba, blame Victor. Sat at the station for about a half hour and got the last sitting tickets (YES! First time thats ever happened!) to Turrialba. I sat next to this odd guy that had family there, he talked to me about a lot of things on the way there.... He also talked on the phone with someone about me... Saying my name super loudly so that I heard over my headphones. It was odd, an hour bus ride later we apparently made a new friend and also made it into Turrialba.
Turrialba turned out to be a small town nestled in some mountains and boy, was it a hot day! After getting into town it became evident that this town had never seen the likes of Gringos if at all, then not very often. There were ten times the stares and the talking, and women making sure we knew the men were theirs. We figured out quickly that the art festival we thought would be a bigger deal was pretty small and not that important. It was kind of like a county fair of sorts, but it was still pretty fun. We spent most of the time exploring the city and stayed long enough to hear a "Big band" play, they played a lot of jazz music which made me really miss swing nights in Grand Rapids. I really wanted to dance, but Matt didnt know how. Bummer. In this town, we met a man who came up to us and started talking to Matt... At first I thought he was trying to barter with Matt, seeing if he would share these two Gringas, but it turned out he wanted us to have a drink with him. We said no thank you about a million times but he didnt get the hint. He was talking very fast so I didnt catch all of what he said, but from what I know, he grabbed my hand and blessed it. He then placed my blessed hand on his forehead and chin. I was pretty confused but I guess didnt want to cheat him out of my now blessed hand... He then left and came back with milk boxes for all of us, and then was trying to convince us to have food with him. He didnt leave for a long time, and even tried to get Kristen to kiss his thumb. When he finally left, I think we all made a big sigh of relief and enjoyed the band before we left. On our way back to the bus, Matt and I were going to take a stab at swing dancing because the BEST song started to play. As soon as we stopped... There came man-who-blessed-my-hand... So we walked away quickly.
It was a long sticky and sweaty day, but it was full of adventure. And it even ended with a hot pink hammock that was only $20 dollars.
My apologies for a novel, but if you made it this far congrats! Who knows what the next days will bring, Monday I am going to the Zoo with my students, basically they are letting me tag a long, but I am using this to get to know the other Teachers in the school as well as seeing a pretty cool zoo :). More on that soon!
Buenos noches!

Independence.

This week I had it in my brain that I was going to strike out on my OWN. I was going to explore by myself, make sure I knew where everything was. It was such a daunting task, but hey gotta grow up sometime? I went to San Jose with Kristen, but she ended up leaving when we couldnt find this ominous and obviously non-existant music store to find violin books. We stopped for coffee at this cool looking place but it ended up not having that good of coffee (mental note). And then she left for a skype date with the boyfriend.
I stayed and went through a really cool artisan market, since I was gringa and basically the only one in there at the time, I was swarmed by the booth people. I ended up with the souvenirs I needed and came back home.

This week has been unfairly cold for being Costa Rica. Today was just about the first day that we've seen sun since Friday, !que ridiculo! Its been pretty crazy, one of the teachers is sick from school with the chicken pox, so I had to cover his exam classes today. The day started out kind of horribly. The 8th grade class I was sitting in on was atrocious. One of the kids got mad at me for not letting him get his dictionary.... in a grammar exam. Finished the test and slammed the door when going to the bathroom. Then he came back and started making fun of me, much to the rest of the classes amusement. And talked for the rest of the time, not listening to me when I told them to be quiet. I really hope that I wasnt this bad when I was that young... Well, I wasnt, I never talked period. I guess I wouldnt expect immediate respect from these kids because I am not like them and I cant understand a ton of Spanish. Regardless, its not something I should take personally, but it was awful. The rest of the day went just fine, I sat in on another exam almost up until I had to tutor and then tutored until 3 and then we were picked up by Rosie Lamme, one of the missionary wives here to have dinner at their house at about 3:30. I am so greatful for her and her kindness!
I am totally exhausted and tired of talking period, after trying to shout above kids all day to get them to be quiet Im surprised I didnt lose my voice. I just dont want to talk anymore. The good thing though, is that Spanish is seeming to become more like second nature to me. It was easier for me to speak at some points today, and I understood it well. My brain needs a rest... until tomorrow when I do it all over again.
Daniel... why must you have chicken pox???

On the Rockies

This week was pretty much a huge rollercoaster for both Kristen and I.
For one, we craved chocolate and cookies ALL week. This was one of those cravings that you just think about all the time and its just about the only thing you think about. On top of that we were both pretty emotional, Thursday afternoon after school we both sat on our beds and literally cried to each other about our various problems... and finished off the chocolate bar I had gotten the night before. It was actually pretty refreshing to be able to do with someone. Its one thing to room together and share everything, but we can share emotions and struggles together. I am glad for the discussions we had, and how we could encourage eachother through that time.
I think its hard for a native English speaker to come to another country, knowing little or none of the language spoken there, and trying to teach. A lot of the time the kids dont respect the teacher, and get in the habit of giving blank looks and telling you they dont understand when you know for a fact they do. Since I have more free time than I wanted, it gives me a heck of a lot of time to think. This is always pretty dangerous, I will never say thinking is a bad thing, but you are your own worst enemy. There have been a few people that have questioned the work Ive done here, or if im doing anything at all. At first it hurt me, I feel that my character has been questioned a lot since Ive been gone. But I KNOW what i'm doing here, and I know that i'm doing good even if others doubt me. God knows me, He knows my thoughts, my prayers and my struggles. Thats all I should worry about, not what other people are thinking of me.
Its been a lot of discovery this week. I dont feel like the same person that got off that plane, and I dont think Ill be the same person that gets off it again when I touch American soil. Im so thankful to be here, struggles and all. I know that we dont often praise the struggles we have until we are out of them... Im not out of my struggles yet here, but I am thankful. I mean, what is the point of all of this if you arent going to let it change you?
I dont mean to be writing a novel, but I think this weekend was definitely what we needed. It was completely relaxed a bit cold and miserable, but relaxed. Friday night we decided to stay in and watch the Breakfast Club and slept as late as we could... Which wasnt late at all, and got up to go to the market and shopped for food for the next couple weeks. Got home and I made some no-bake cookies, which were definitely super dooper easy and were a hit with Gilda and Carlos and their whiney grandchild. She even asked for the recipe! We wandered downtown San Jose for awhile also, looking for some Artisan Market we couldnt find to meet a girl we had met during the week. We didnt find it after wandering around for an hour, but ended up stopping for some coffee at a place called Toastadora(?), it was ssuuuuper good. We are finding some franchises in Costa Rica that we like like, Pops, Toastadora, and Muss Mani so far.
That being said, I am looking forward to spending the day with the Greens tomorrow, and hopefully trying to understand what is being said in the sermon. Buenos noches!

Servants Heart

This week I had struggled with feeling like "the overworked and under-appreciated housewife." Kristen and I joked that I was like the wife and she was the working husband. I do a lot of the cleaning up and cooking and she is usually busy with doing school work. Not that I dont do work, because I usually stay busy during the day with my own school work and tutoring. I have a lot of free time in the evenings, but I usually make up for it. I may be able to do some painting for some of the classrooms in the school. I am here to serve and volunteer so if someone needs me I can do it.
I should be happy to serve. Even in the menial things such as making Kristen lunch or dinner, or doing her laundry on top of mine. I should do these things without complaint, so then why do I get cranky about doing it sometimes? Sometimes I dont want to cook, sometimes I dont want to do dishes, sometimes I dont want to clean the bathroom. That isnt a servants heart, though. I should be happy to do it without expecting anything in return. That is a servants heart, and that is exactly what I wanted to have. The complaining that swirls around in my head sometimes needs to stop. Why is it easier sometimes and then not other times? I struggle with having a willing heart sometimes. Im praying for a better one.

On another note, I asked my kids to draw their favorite class.... and they all said that English was their favorite class, and drew me. Even though they would say that whatever class they were in at that moment was their favorite.... It still made me feel good to know that my kids liked me. I subbed for one of the other English teachers last week for 1st grade... It was so much fun. They still say hi to me in the halls. They have no idea what an encouragement they are to me. Everyday.

Manuel Antonio!

This past weekend we made our trip to Manuel Antonio, which is about 4 hours south of San Jose. The trip started out a little like this:
Set our alarms to what I thought was 4:15 am to meet the guys on the street at 4:45am ( I only have my ipod as an alarm, and its still set to Michigan time.. But guess who didnt think of that).
Got on that street 10 minutes later than we planned and the guys werent there, walked to the bus stop, they werent there. Went to the Greens' house, by this time they were about 25 minutes late, where they spent the night, got into the house and found out they were still sleeping... We were pretty annoyed at this point so we woke them up in a whisper yell telling them we were already 20 minutes behind, scared Mark awake and did the same to Matt.... Except it was only 4:10 in the morning... We walked out of the house hanging our heads and waited outside for the guys. Got teased for awhile, yes it was my fault I will admit, but in my defense Kristen didnt think to check the time either.... At least we started out our morning with laughing?

Took a taxi to the bus stop, stopped to get some breakfast from a street vendor, and waited for the bus. Since we hadnt paid for tickets ahead of time, we had to stand in line while the ticket people went through. Finally getting in, there were 4 seats left. Thank the Lord. But, not so fast... the last 4 possible people to get on had tickets for the exact seats we were sitting in... So we stood. It wasnt so entirely bad, we improvised and sat in the aisle back to back and tried to sleep that way, it was pretty swishy, Kristen nearly got puked on by a baby so that was a pleasant thing to smell for the rest of the trip. Luckily, on a few stops some people got off to eventually everyone got a seat for the rest of the trip. FINALLY got to Quepos, my sandal broke so I fixed that while we waited for a bus into Manuel Antonio, alas half an hour later we were in Manuel Antonio. Dropped our stuff off at the coolest looking Hostel and walked to the beach that was about 2 minutes walk from our Hostel. Our hostel was also amazing! It was beautiful and the manager was so nice to us. I would definitely go again. I loved it, if I could live the life of a backpacker for awhile... I could totally get into that lifestyle. What a riot!

We spent the whole day at the beach, swimming in the ocean and relaxing. It was the best day, and Kristen and I didnt get too burnt either! We were pretty dedicated in putting on sunblock... but we did burn a bit still. Good thing I brought the aloe along to put on! The guys already looked like natives since they get to work outside at the construction site all day with their shirts off, so Kristen and I stood out all the more next to them! Later the guys decided they wanted to play volleyball, so Kristen and I went for a walk up and down the beach. A tica police called us over to look at a crocodile that was sitting in a lagoon. Apparently everytime they pull one out, another one appears, and if people dont keep their dogs on a leash they get eaten by the crocs! Found the guys, went to find food. We were starved! Couldnt really find a place that didnt cost an arm and a leg, so we finally settled for the lesser evil. Kristen Matt and I went to bed WAY early since we had been up for over 12 hours. Mark, the chatty kathy he is went a mingled and swam at night. Apparently  if you swim at night, the algae glows as you move. That would have been cool and all... But I was grateful for a bed and some sleep.

Woke up fairly early, ate breakfast super cheap and really good! Had some fantastic coffee and went our separate ways, Kristen and I decided to go hike through the National Park to see some monkeys and birds, and the guys went to the beach again. The hike was so awesome! We saw 3 monkeys, a sloth, and 3 lizards of various sizes... Not what we were expecting, but the views were fantastic! Came across a beach, swam and my Superman watch finally met its doom :(, hiked the rest of the loop and found the guys on the public beach. Swam for awhile longer, went back and took showers and then ate Mussmani, which is a popular and cheap bread company here and waited for the bus. We actually ended up staying on the bus for about 5 hours because something happened to the bridge we were going to cross... But ended up at the Greens and ate some burgers and went home to shower and bed.

What a weekend. I would love to repeat that, but back to reality?
I am so blessed to be here.

Not again...

Today has been one of those days... One of those days that I dont feel so good and just want to be surrounded by warmth and love to get hugs from someone familiar. One of those days that just just thinking about my Moms voice makes me want to cry. I dont think that its entirely because I am homesick, because I dont believe I really am. But all I know is that these weird thoughts keep circulating through my brain.
I think I hit a point today where I was so stressed about the classes and the kids Im tutoring that I had to stop and wonder how God still thinks I am qualified to do this job. How in the world am I supposed to teach these kids? How are these people entrusting their kids in some gringa thats struggling through Spanish?
It still amazes me, the plans God has for you. He knows what Hes doing here, I dont. Im always left guessing, but its always revealed in the end. The end for me is in 3 months. 3. Months. How am I supposed to convince God that I cant do this and that I dont know what Im doing, and its all well and good that He knows what Hes doing, but its not fair that Im left in the dark. How?! You dont thats how. You trust.  So, here I pray for a more faithful heart. God, please help my faith become sight. Please help me.
I need to try to be better harder, I need to be more giving, I need more patience, I need to show mercy, I need to cry less, I need to rely on God, I need to be a better teacher. I need to trust God, I need to be confident in my purpose in being here, I need to trust myself.
How can anyone this needy do a job right?!
Mercy.

Saturdays in Costa Rica

Today Kristen and I woke up unintentionally early and decided to go to the Saturday morning market in Guatelupe. We didnt know what to expect when we got off the bus and started walking with our empty backpacks towards where we thought was the market... wrong. We wandered for what was at least a half hour, asking people on the street directions saying thank you when we didnt understand what the directions where... until we saw an Asian couple who looked like they were going to the market, we decided to creep on them and follow them. And I mean, stop when they stop, walk slower than slow so that we dont catch up to them (I really believe that the whole time they knew we were lost Gringas in need of help, and I have decided that I would make a horrible secret agent spy... we were way too obvious). Then, lo and behold- the market!
When we got to the market there was so many things to look at and see. It was packed with people, and vegetables and fruit. There were venders everywhere, I could all but feed on the energy of this place it was so amazing. Neither Kristen or I could focus on what we needed to get or what we were there for because we were just simply soaking it in! I think we wandered around the entire market a couple times in pure awe and wonder before we started buying anything. Who are these people that they are so lucky to be able to live a life like this?? I am incredibly blessed to be here.. This way of living is just fantastic. We filled our backpacks with awesome fruit and veggies, got the rest of our groceries and got some ice cream at Pops in celebration of a hugely successful morning... and it wasnt even noon yet!It was nice to see more than potatoes and one egg in our fridge! It was also nice to eat more than peanut butter and rice.
After putting away our food, we sat out in the sun to read and do homework. (we made sure we put on sunscreen correctly this time), and now we are just relaxing for the rest of the evening. Made an excellent dinner with the fresh produce and the things we got at the market, thanks to Rosi who took us shopping again, our fridge is over-flowing with food.
What an incredible day.
Hasta Luego!

Lately,

I have been praying that God teaches me to be like Daniel. He was willing to get involved and be an influence for God. Daniel was willing to be used as a tool, even under extraordinary circumstances, he had this excellent spirit in the Lord. Ive found comfort in Daniels faith, he stayed pure in a sinful place, even his enemies concluded that is only weakness was his devotion to God. Even though I am completely willing to be here in Costa Rica and to give out my services and use my talents, I am still afraid! Daniel had complete confidence in the Lord even while he was in jail and in conflict. The Lord blessed Daniel in that.
If I want to come out of Costa Rica with anything, I want to come out with Gods light shining through. I want to be set apart, I want that secret knowing smile that my Lord Jesus Christ is here protecting me and He saved me from my sin. I want to have a greatful heart. The wilderness is where God does His best work, there is nothing random about the afflictions God gives us! I am so greatful for that!
"If my life be broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.”- Ruth Stull, a missionary of Peru. 

A few of my favorite things...

Ive only been in Costa Rica for about a week, but I have already come up with a list of my favorite things about this place.
1. The views are breath-taking.
2. Listening to the Catholic church bells while we have our afternoon coffee.
3. The air. Sometimes it even smells exactly like it would if you were to stand in the produce section in the grocery store. Completely natural and fresh.
4. It might sound crazy, but the Windex they use at the school. It smells like lavender and I love walking down the halls to my class and smelling that all the way. Good smells make you feel clean.
5. Long, unexpected conversations at the Green's house.
6. The smell of Gilda cooking food and being jealous that we arent eating it.
7. Planning our next adventure.
8. The sound of Kristen playing the piano on Sundays at the Greens. (shes phenonimal, and might give me a lesson or two!)
9. The little marker dots my kids on their noses get when I let them smell my "magic marker." Which is actually just those smelly markers that I put in my pocket everyday and they have to guess the color of my marker, and only after I make a big deal about how good it smells they can ask if they can smell it in English. I put a dot on the inside of their hand, and when they smell it, they gets dots on their noses.
10. The sound of the kids' laughter when I say something funny, and dont know its funny.
11. Crooked, special needs puppies
12. Sunny lunch breaks
13. Mangos
14. Dancing in the kitchen after a bad day.
15. NOT finding cockroaches as large as my hand.
16. Hammocks
17. The fact that Costa Ricans are resourceful. In what Ive been told, Costa Ricans have recycled buildings, so instead of the "out with the old, in with the new," they use the old one, patch it up if thats what it needs and use it. I love that about Costa Rica. There are all these pretty fantastic buildings around here, all alittle broken and patched. I dont know why I appreciate it so much, maybe its that I love really old buildings, their character is astounding, and they are almost a little hard to find in that mitten I call home.