This past week has been an absolute whirl wind. Working Monday to Saturday does that to you, plus getting home just in time to sleep-to get up and do it all over again. I do believe that I am outdoing myself... but I cant say that I dont enjoy being busy.
I have been pretty reminiscent lately, or maybe just today. The old tree at my grandparents place was cut down in a matter of minutes. That tree had been there since my mom was even a child, and I grew up seeing that tree everyday. We always attempted to climb it as little kids, but grandmas pinches stung too bad. You know, the ones on the fleshy part of the back of your arm that KILL. The ones I always got with a quick swat on the toosh because I always seemed to look for trouble. Seeing that tree cut up and sectioned in their yard just seemed like I was looking at my childhood. I realized today that I no longer feel childish, or that childish character I wanted to cling to for so long. I feel content in my skin, with that tree, with its long old branches seemed to contain all these odd ball memories and I finally just let go. Not that I am letting go of my childhood- cause lets face it, I was a pretty cool kid. But that persona, I am a 21 year old woman- yes, I can say woman now because I actually FEEL it. Age doesnt matter- you can be 30 and still act like a girl (sorry, Ive seen it) as long as you feel like a woman instead of a flimsy girl, you are a woman.
Also, the thing that reminded me of my Grandma again was when I was sick of my CD so I turned on the radio and was flipping through the channels and I hit the Classical music radio. I was instantly back in my Grandparents van, I can hear my Grandmas voice, smell the interior of the van, and feel incredibly bored all at the same time. I just sat in my car with a ridiculous grin on my face because now I love classical music, and the fact that something like that can send you back 14, 15 years. My view of my Grandparents has changed. I used to think of my Grandparents as the people you love, and you have to love and respect them... But when you grow up and start looking at them as people instead of your grandparents... You get a totally different view of them. You see them as a flawed human being as you are... and still love them for it. If my Grandpa Buitenbos was younger, Id totally want to marry him. Most want to marry their father, I want to marry my Grandpa. He is the kindest man I have ever met, when I see him he never fails to take my face in his big hands and tell me how proud he is of me, and how beautiful I have grown up to be. I just cant explain enough the huge respect I have for my grandparents. That being said, its already almost 1am, and I promised myself id slow down this week but I almost dont think thats going to happen. So, thats my brain vomit for the day.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Let Go
of:
people who don’t call you, the t-shirt from the ex, the insecurities about the way you dance, or sing, the shoes you’ve had in your closet for 6 years and are so raggedy but they still fit, that nagging feeling you’ll die alone.
that one time somebody called you ugly, that one time you got dumped, that 10th time you got dumped, feeling bad in a bathing suit, the takeout still in your fridge.
your fear of flying, your fear of never traveling, your fear of being the one who makes the first move, your fear of failure, your fear of monsters under the bed, having to wear makeup every time you leave the house, feeling bad about not shaving your legs even though it’s summer.
being so negative, feeling like you shouldn’t feel optimistic about things, the odd way you think your thighs and nose look, and being worried about how your hair frames your face, 86% of your doubt.
the bad friend, having to go to the movies with somebody and not alone, staying home on a Friday, going out and feeling like you’d rather be home, feeling alone, pretending like you always WANT to be alone, getting caught in the rain without an umbrella, saying cheesy things about the rain.
being worried you’re being too honest, being worried about being rejected, being worried about ordering dessert, being sad that your love life is kind of boring, constantly putting yourself down before somebody else does, being afraid of being disappointed, holding yourself back.
feeling bad about being clumsy, feeling bad your nails are always chipped, bad habits you cling onto, feeling guilty about thinking too much about the past, getting nervous about how you can’t quite grow up just yet, most of your guilt, feeling terrible about the things you haven’t done yet, comparing yourself to people you aren’t, comparing others to the people they are not, that one or two or thirty people you know you should.
Balloons.
C’mon, do it.
(I did not write this, but I should have)
Adventure is the best way to learn.
Reading through my last few posts I realized that they have seemed a little empty. I can talk about surface issues, surface problems and never even touch the heart of the matter.
A friend gave me this analogy once that his pastor had preached, you hear a noise in your car and you do everything to ignore it, turn up the radio, turn down the windows, anything to drown out the fact that your car is making noise until one day it breaks down-and you HAVE to fix it because theres no way of going back, and theres nothing else to be done but its going to be one heck of a project because theres so much build up of damage now. I can turn down the radio everyday when I get into my car just to listen to all the noises it makes and just hoping that one day it wont break down. The problem with listening to the noises everyday is that I neither have the knowledge or the insight to fix these problems. So who do I go to? What if they dont care? What if its too expensive to fix?
People ask me,"how amazing do you feel to be back in the USA?"..... Not that great, but thanks for asking? In all honesty in the past month I have been home I have hit my lowest and darkest spots-- but on the other hand I have also hit some highs. Its been a rollercoaster to say the least. This is not what I wanted for myself, I didnt want to be an emotional mess, I wanted to be so so happy for having been there and show it. I wanted to show what Costa Rica had done to me, how its changed me and I feel like I havent been doing a very good job of it. I have just been a slightly depressing blob of useless gloop. And I am trying so hard to just pull myself up by my bootstraps... but they get heavier and heavier everytime, and a strap is broken.
I have already been looking at return tickets to Costa Rica, I know I will return one day, whether to teach or to visit in the time being. But right now-lies dont need an airplane to chase you down. Sometimes God gives you one big shake, brings you to your knees and brings you back to him. Sometimes though, we are just way to stubborn and refuse to return to Him. We want to do it the hard way, we want to "prove" to God that we can be the person he wants us to be, just without Him. It doesnt work.
A friend gave me this analogy once that his pastor had preached, you hear a noise in your car and you do everything to ignore it, turn up the radio, turn down the windows, anything to drown out the fact that your car is making noise until one day it breaks down-and you HAVE to fix it because theres no way of going back, and theres nothing else to be done but its going to be one heck of a project because theres so much build up of damage now. I can turn down the radio everyday when I get into my car just to listen to all the noises it makes and just hoping that one day it wont break down. The problem with listening to the noises everyday is that I neither have the knowledge or the insight to fix these problems. So who do I go to? What if they dont care? What if its too expensive to fix?
People ask me,"how amazing do you feel to be back in the USA?"..... Not that great, but thanks for asking? In all honesty in the past month I have been home I have hit my lowest and darkest spots-- but on the other hand I have also hit some highs. Its been a rollercoaster to say the least. This is not what I wanted for myself, I didnt want to be an emotional mess, I wanted to be so so happy for having been there and show it. I wanted to show what Costa Rica had done to me, how its changed me and I feel like I havent been doing a very good job of it. I have just been a slightly depressing blob of useless gloop. And I am trying so hard to just pull myself up by my bootstraps... but they get heavier and heavier everytime, and a strap is broken.
I have already been looking at return tickets to Costa Rica, I know I will return one day, whether to teach or to visit in the time being. But right now-lies dont need an airplane to chase you down. Sometimes God gives you one big shake, brings you to your knees and brings you back to him. Sometimes though, we are just way to stubborn and refuse to return to Him. We want to do it the hard way, we want to "prove" to God that we can be the person he wants us to be, just without Him. It doesnt work.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Blues on the Mall
So, since I am now residing in my home in Michigan, this blog may turn into a random jumble of my thoughts rather than informing you on my latest misadventure in Central America. I think that sometimes I have such a overflow of one thing in my brain that, if I have no one to tell or talk to about it then I have to write it down somewhere, and this might just be the place, whether its read or not doesnt really matter that much.
Here in Grand Rapids, starting in June usually, there is this thing called Blues on the Mall. Its always on Wednesday nights at Rosa Parks circle which is swing dance/lunch/outdoor concert venue by summer, and skate rink by winter. This is where people of all shapes and sizes and colors and characters gather to listen to some damn good blues music. Where the guitar cords riple through the air with their bluesy twang, and the old timers that are decked out in their old tie die and Harley Davidson leather jackets sunglasses and white beards, shimmy and jive to the music. As I sat and listened to Vasti Jackson in a too small area of downtown that was packed with people that varied so much in character you just had to laugh.
At one end of the spectrum, you have your reminiscers- the wealthier looking folks in their yacht racing shirts bumping shoulders with the homeless, slightly smelly and drunk guys who have been doing drugs for much too long to have a normal brain process. There are also the Harley Davidson guys that gather with their wives or girlfriends, and whose life is almost tattooed on their face- I actually saw a couple decked out in Harley gear, skinny as rails and probably missing teeth dancing together. Not grinding in an awkward, old kind of way, but the classic hand holding and swaying type of deal. It was almost too cute, I could have puked, but I refrained. This was almost as shocking to me as when I was in Costa Rica and went to church for the first time and a man came in also in full leather with his bike helmet in hand, just walked right up to the front and started tuning his flute to play during the service. Quite the contradiction eh?
Speaking of cute, there was also this tiny little boy in the front standing on the railing with his little fau-hawk and bouncing up and down in his own version of dancing.
Its almost 2:30am... I should at least give myself a chance to sleep at some point. I am praying that God would break my heart for what breaks his and not the trivial and meaningless things that will mean nothing in the larger picture of the Kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of which, is so much larger than any of us could ever imagine it would be. What a useless creature I am. What are feelings for if not to break you down so that God can build you up again to be the person He wants you to be? All in His timing all in His timing, all in His timing.
Here in Grand Rapids, starting in June usually, there is this thing called Blues on the Mall. Its always on Wednesday nights at Rosa Parks circle which is swing dance/lunch/outdoor concert venue by summer, and skate rink by winter. This is where people of all shapes and sizes and colors and characters gather to listen to some damn good blues music. Where the guitar cords riple through the air with their bluesy twang, and the old timers that are decked out in their old tie die and Harley Davidson leather jackets sunglasses and white beards, shimmy and jive to the music. As I sat and listened to Vasti Jackson in a too small area of downtown that was packed with people that varied so much in character you just had to laugh.
At one end of the spectrum, you have your reminiscers- the wealthier looking folks in their yacht racing shirts bumping shoulders with the homeless, slightly smelly and drunk guys who have been doing drugs for much too long to have a normal brain process. There are also the Harley Davidson guys that gather with their wives or girlfriends, and whose life is almost tattooed on their face- I actually saw a couple decked out in Harley gear, skinny as rails and probably missing teeth dancing together. Not grinding in an awkward, old kind of way, but the classic hand holding and swaying type of deal. It was almost too cute, I could have puked, but I refrained. This was almost as shocking to me as when I was in Costa Rica and went to church for the first time and a man came in also in full leather with his bike helmet in hand, just walked right up to the front and started tuning his flute to play during the service. Quite the contradiction eh?
Speaking of cute, there was also this tiny little boy in the front standing on the railing with his little fau-hawk and bouncing up and down in his own version of dancing.
Its almost 2:30am... I should at least give myself a chance to sleep at some point. I am praying that God would break my heart for what breaks his and not the trivial and meaningless things that will mean nothing in the larger picture of the Kingdom of heaven. The kingdom of which, is so much larger than any of us could ever imagine it would be. What a useless creature I am. What are feelings for if not to break you down so that God can build you up again to be the person He wants you to be? All in His timing all in His timing, all in His timing.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Runners High.
Most people talk about runners high, how they love it. I cant begin to tell you how much I have truly missed it until I ran 5 miles tonight in 45 minutes. And I only stopped once! (well, twice because of a ginormo hill). But I am so proud of myself! Most of you dont know, or dont care to know that I am hoping to do a Triatholon in Reeds Lake in August, so I have just started my training for that and I have been running or biking all week. The Triatholon is pretty minor, 500m swim, 17 mile bike, and a 5 mile run. I was pretty intimidated... Until I actually got through a 5 mile run without knowing it tonight!
I cant believe how much I have missed this running. I ran 6 years in High school for those of you who dont know... Though that was more sprinting a mid distance than distance running, so this is something new for me and Ive been dreading the process of getting in shape for distance because its a whole different set of training than im used to... But it seems promising so far.
Prepare for a nerd alert and rant on running:
Running definitely has its perks, it is said to take all the chemically negative things out of your brain and replace it with seratonin I believe. Many times I would go for a run with a headache and come back without one. I usually feel more positive (duh) and ready to take on things that I thought maybe I couldnt before. I watched a documentary on the Chicago Marathon last night, dont ask why... I stumbled upon it and watched all 2 hours of it... ridiculous. But for those of you who dont know, a marathon is 26.3 miles. The history is pretty interesting on it, it was based in Greece and I am only paraphrasing because I cant remember exactly what the story was about... But a soldier named Pheidippides ran from his city to Athens to relay a really important message to the King or something on the battle of Marathon and had enough breath to tell the message and then died. So that trek was then deemed for heros, and many set out to do that same thing that Marathon did, except not die. (I tried telling my dad this story and he was trying REALLY HARD to be as interested in it as I was, so I give him some credit.) Theres also an interesting story about women in marathons... after a marathon that was for both men and women, some of the women were stumbling and falling over the finish line in such a fashion that the men were completely aghast. They were so horrified that they banned women from marathons thinking them too frail for the 26 miles feat. Until one year a woman entered her first and middle initial and last name, and no one questioned it because they figured it was a male. Then there was an incredible hype when people started recognizing her as a woman during the race, and one of the race officials or maybe the mayor ran up to her in the middle of the race and tried to rip her number off of her and told her to 'get the hell out of my race!' He was then promptly shouldered into the sidewalk as the womans bear of a boyfriend body slammed him. She finished the race. I feel like I am not giving these people the proper amount of credit because for the life of me I cannot remember her name...
In any case, no judging for my nerdfest. I am just starting to get excited for this Triatholon, I just want to finish! That is all. Thus ends the nerdish rant for the night, I am happy to get to bed. Caio!
I cant believe how much I have missed this running. I ran 6 years in High school for those of you who dont know... Though that was more sprinting a mid distance than distance running, so this is something new for me and Ive been dreading the process of getting in shape for distance because its a whole different set of training than im used to... But it seems promising so far.
Prepare for a nerd alert and rant on running:
Running definitely has its perks, it is said to take all the chemically negative things out of your brain and replace it with seratonin I believe. Many times I would go for a run with a headache and come back without one. I usually feel more positive (duh) and ready to take on things that I thought maybe I couldnt before. I watched a documentary on the Chicago Marathon last night, dont ask why... I stumbled upon it and watched all 2 hours of it... ridiculous. But for those of you who dont know, a marathon is 26.3 miles. The history is pretty interesting on it, it was based in Greece and I am only paraphrasing because I cant remember exactly what the story was about... But a soldier named Pheidippides ran from his city to Athens to relay a really important message to the King or something on the battle of Marathon and had enough breath to tell the message and then died. So that trek was then deemed for heros, and many set out to do that same thing that Marathon did, except not die. (I tried telling my dad this story and he was trying REALLY HARD to be as interested in it as I was, so I give him some credit.) Theres also an interesting story about women in marathons... after a marathon that was for both men and women, some of the women were stumbling and falling over the finish line in such a fashion that the men were completely aghast. They were so horrified that they banned women from marathons thinking them too frail for the 26 miles feat. Until one year a woman entered her first and middle initial and last name, and no one questioned it because they figured it was a male. Then there was an incredible hype when people started recognizing her as a woman during the race, and one of the race officials or maybe the mayor ran up to her in the middle of the race and tried to rip her number off of her and told her to 'get the hell out of my race!' He was then promptly shouldered into the sidewalk as the womans bear of a boyfriend body slammed him. She finished the race. I feel like I am not giving these people the proper amount of credit because for the life of me I cannot remember her name...
In any case, no judging for my nerdfest. I am just starting to get excited for this Triatholon, I just want to finish! That is all. Thus ends the nerdish rant for the night, I am happy to get to bed. Caio!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Back to the land of the free....
I have been back home for about 2 weeks now. So what now? I cant begin to explain how difficult this transition has been for me. In some ways its unexplainable. Who knew that 3.5 months in a different country would change my perspective so much or that I would make so many observations that its just been overloading my brain. I am thankful to be home. Its been refreshing to see the improvements in myself. Though in those 2 weeks its been a constant inner psycho-analysis, I have not felt completely myself and find myself more observing people than actually getting involved in a conversation. However, the past few days I have felt more myself. I have laughed, joked, and smiled- it was like a drink of fresh water.
Its back to being overloaded with bills that I cant pay and pointless- I am going to sit on the phone for 5 hours a day trying to talk to people who dont want to talk to me- jobs. I wanted the challenge and I got it there. I may be going back to school this fall and still try to work as much as I can so I can get some of this debt below my eyeballs. I also may be able to take more Spanish lessons this summer and I am really happy for that because I miss Spanish and I want to continue it. I am thankful for what God has given me, and every struggle hes given me is under His providence and I am trying so hard to trust and be faithful and fruitful, I just wish I had direction.
I vow that I will be more dedicated to sit and meditate on Gods word, to sit and listen to what He has to say to me... even if its not something I want to hear. I want to be more broken for the things that break God. The broken heart still beats, I need to be more broken for Him. So heres my prayer.
Its back to being overloaded with bills that I cant pay and pointless- I am going to sit on the phone for 5 hours a day trying to talk to people who dont want to talk to me- jobs. I wanted the challenge and I got it there. I may be going back to school this fall and still try to work as much as I can so I can get some of this debt below my eyeballs. I also may be able to take more Spanish lessons this summer and I am really happy for that because I miss Spanish and I want to continue it. I am thankful for what God has given me, and every struggle hes given me is under His providence and I am trying so hard to trust and be faithful and fruitful, I just wish I had direction.
I vow that I will be more dedicated to sit and meditate on Gods word, to sit and listen to what He has to say to me... even if its not something I want to hear. I want to be more broken for the things that break God. The broken heart still beats, I need to be more broken for Him. So heres my prayer.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Call of the Wild.
.... By Jack London. Just finished it,I read it cover to cover today... and I think im going to move to the Yukon...
Just kidding. That would be terrible, but that book made me have itchy feet for exploring and this natural born intent of adventure. I need to explore something pretty soon here, but maybe the itchy feet syndrome will be worked off tomorrow as I haul sand out of our play area at the school to make way for grass! I have been super restless lately...
But this is my last weekend in good 'ol CR and I think im in the resignation stage of acceptance. I am just taking advantage and cherishing every possible moment that I have left here. Like, sitting and having a cup of coffee with Bill Green and have him explain to me why feminism is ruining the world and men alike or knowing that any moment of the day when I was feeling lonely, I could hop over to the Greens and be guarenteed to have a conversation. Or how we can sit in the kitchen making pancakes and bacon and talking about theology or something crazy. Or how I get to see my little girls all dress up in their frilly pink dresses and show me how they can twirl in circles and be princesses one second and then running and being upside down on the monkey bars, underwear and all. Or how the thunder sounds in the distance, and listen as the rain slowly, or not so slowly begin to pound the tin roofs. Or how the church bells ring at 12pm and 6pm everyday and Kristen and I always sing along.
There is so much that I am going to miss about this country. And to be honest, most of it is really small minute details that stick out in my mind like none other. I feel like I have been cut off, this trip seems too short... But I should be getting home. Going home seems just as weird and ridiculous as it did in my mind before I got here... In which case I am going to pack as much of Costa Rica as my bags will allow.
"There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s saying."- Sarah Dessen
Just kidding. That would be terrible, but that book made me have itchy feet for exploring and this natural born intent of adventure. I need to explore something pretty soon here, but maybe the itchy feet syndrome will be worked off tomorrow as I haul sand out of our play area at the school to make way for grass! I have been super restless lately...
But this is my last weekend in good 'ol CR and I think im in the resignation stage of acceptance. I am just taking advantage and cherishing every possible moment that I have left here. Like, sitting and having a cup of coffee with Bill Green and have him explain to me why feminism is ruining the world and men alike or knowing that any moment of the day when I was feeling lonely, I could hop over to the Greens and be guarenteed to have a conversation. Or how we can sit in the kitchen making pancakes and bacon and talking about theology or something crazy. Or how I get to see my little girls all dress up in their frilly pink dresses and show me how they can twirl in circles and be princesses one second and then running and being upside down on the monkey bars, underwear and all. Or how the thunder sounds in the distance, and listen as the rain slowly, or not so slowly begin to pound the tin roofs. Or how the church bells ring at 12pm and 6pm everyday and Kristen and I always sing along.
There is so much that I am going to miss about this country. And to be honest, most of it is really small minute details that stick out in my mind like none other. I feel like I have been cut off, this trip seems too short... But I should be getting home. Going home seems just as weird and ridiculous as it did in my mind before I got here... In which case I am going to pack as much of Costa Rica as my bags will allow.
"There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s saying."- Sarah Dessen
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Nicaragua
Ok, so I know that this is probably about 2 weeks late, and I am sorry I am such a bad blogger sometimes!
So anyways, a few weekends ago, I got the opportunity to go to Managua, Nicaragua and see how the churches there prosper. To set the stage, I was the only girl on this trip and I was shoved to the front while the guys languidly lay and slept in the back. My job was to keep the driver, Bill Green awake. Bill never has trouble talking.... But at least he shared his food with me :). It was a long and hot trip, but surprisingly the border was easy peasy lemon squeazy, we had someone guiding us the entire way. The thing with this border though, is that cars can go in first and they take hours or days to process any semi-trucks so, on these one way roads theres at least 2 miles of trucks. The truckers all standing and conversing or stringing up their hammocks under their trucks in the shade to take a quick nap. It was quite hilarious actually.
When we finally arrived to the church, after getting lost, a million bugs falling into my lap, hitting a bird, and a million street vendors, I felt like I was looking at the Taj Mahal compared to the housing we had just been witnessing. There is a huge and obvious gap from the rich to the poor in Nicaragua, most of the time you will see shacks built with whatever spare metal they can find or wood. Especially after this one big earthquake that hit about 30 years before. The church was located in a tiny street that had space for maybe one car and all the houses seemed to be almost connected by at least one wall. The Pastor we visited name was Isaac and his wifes name was Lilian. They were perfectly wonderful people, incredibly humble and hospitable. They have an amazing story of literally starting from the ground up. Isaac hasnt ever had any formal education in being a preacher, he doesnt need one when God is in control (not that seminary isnt bad), but their church was built soley on support and the people. No one has to be told to clean the church, there is no schedule. People just show up to clean it. The church also acts as a school, with 208 students that attend from preschool- gradeschool with tuition only being $10 a month! Completely incredible.
I was very humbled by the hospitality that was shown to us... even when these people have nothing themselves, they will make a feast for you. Almost like killing the fatted cow for the prodigal son's return. Its pretty amazing. Though I was not allowed to go outside by myself... ever. If we went somewhere I had at least 2 people with me, and they were always Nicaraguans. Im not sure if its because theres more of a chance of me getting attacked for being an american with blond hair... or if they were just preventing the possibility all together. Either way, it was a bummer, because there was no way that I could go out and explore. The one day we went to the market was a ton of fun though, I really enjoyed it. We took one of the busses downtown. They drive much rougher there or something because before I could even get into my seat he jerked to a start which made me just about fall to the floor if there wasnt and old lady there to catch me... But there was a lot more stares, and much less cat calling- which I appreciated greatly. I dont find anything in the cat calling and attention from Latin men to be flattering because theyre mostly speaking to my hair. Plus it can get quite disgusting.
In anycase, the other things I noticed was that they really like to mix mariochi type music in almost every music they play... let it be pop, rock, anything. Believe me we heard it all, they certainly love noise in that country! There seemed to be more culture there than in Costa Rica. I think its mainly because theres less of a Western culture influence. The Western culture is certainly still there... But definitely not as severe. I would love to return to Nicaragua someday to explore more when I dont have any restraints :), and I am really glad that we were able to make the trip!
So anyways, a few weekends ago, I got the opportunity to go to Managua, Nicaragua and see how the churches there prosper. To set the stage, I was the only girl on this trip and I was shoved to the front while the guys languidly lay and slept in the back. My job was to keep the driver, Bill Green awake. Bill never has trouble talking.... But at least he shared his food with me :). It was a long and hot trip, but surprisingly the border was easy peasy lemon squeazy, we had someone guiding us the entire way. The thing with this border though, is that cars can go in first and they take hours or days to process any semi-trucks so, on these one way roads theres at least 2 miles of trucks. The truckers all standing and conversing or stringing up their hammocks under their trucks in the shade to take a quick nap. It was quite hilarious actually.
When we finally arrived to the church, after getting lost, a million bugs falling into my lap, hitting a bird, and a million street vendors, I felt like I was looking at the Taj Mahal compared to the housing we had just been witnessing. There is a huge and obvious gap from the rich to the poor in Nicaragua, most of the time you will see shacks built with whatever spare metal they can find or wood. Especially after this one big earthquake that hit about 30 years before. The church was located in a tiny street that had space for maybe one car and all the houses seemed to be almost connected by at least one wall. The Pastor we visited name was Isaac and his wifes name was Lilian. They were perfectly wonderful people, incredibly humble and hospitable. They have an amazing story of literally starting from the ground up. Isaac hasnt ever had any formal education in being a preacher, he doesnt need one when God is in control (not that seminary isnt bad), but their church was built soley on support and the people. No one has to be told to clean the church, there is no schedule. People just show up to clean it. The church also acts as a school, with 208 students that attend from preschool- gradeschool with tuition only being $10 a month! Completely incredible.
I was very humbled by the hospitality that was shown to us... even when these people have nothing themselves, they will make a feast for you. Almost like killing the fatted cow for the prodigal son's return. Its pretty amazing. Though I was not allowed to go outside by myself... ever. If we went somewhere I had at least 2 people with me, and they were always Nicaraguans. Im not sure if its because theres more of a chance of me getting attacked for being an american with blond hair... or if they were just preventing the possibility all together. Either way, it was a bummer, because there was no way that I could go out and explore. The one day we went to the market was a ton of fun though, I really enjoyed it. We took one of the busses downtown. They drive much rougher there or something because before I could even get into my seat he jerked to a start which made me just about fall to the floor if there wasnt and old lady there to catch me... But there was a lot more stares, and much less cat calling- which I appreciated greatly. I dont find anything in the cat calling and attention from Latin men to be flattering because theyre mostly speaking to my hair. Plus it can get quite disgusting.
In anycase, the other things I noticed was that they really like to mix mariochi type music in almost every music they play... let it be pop, rock, anything. Believe me we heard it all, they certainly love noise in that country! There seemed to be more culture there than in Costa Rica. I think its mainly because theres less of a Western culture influence. The Western culture is certainly still there... But definitely not as severe. I would love to return to Nicaragua someday to explore more when I dont have any restraints :), and I am really glad that we were able to make the trip!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
My mind is a wilderness...
This week I think i've found myself more often than not completely lost in wandering around in my own mind... and not exactly in a really bad way. I have.... just had too many thoughts on a lot of things. I just seem to listen to relaxing music and then let myself sink in. So this is probably going to seem like a ton of random and disconnected thoughts...
Part of me wishes that I would have made my stay until July just because thats when the break is and I am worrying about my kids and how they will adjust to yet another weird white girl coming to try and teach them a little bit of English. I worry that just as they get comfortable with me, they get uprooted again for someone else to come in. Theres just no consistency for them, and I almost wish I could stay, but at the same time I need to get home and tie up loose ends. I know ive said this before, maybe I havent but its been on my mind. I wish there was more I could do.
I also think that I am going completely insane. Does anyone ever have those dreams that just set off your week weird? Well, the other night I had a dream that I was put to death by the electric chair, except I was still alive after the initial shock but I couldnt seem to move my arms or legs. I think it has partly to do with the fact that on our way back from Puerto Viejo our bus was stopped by the police and they were checking everyones passports... That I didnt have. I was so worried, I am sure I had the deer in the head lights look thinking they were just going to pull me off of the bus and put me in jail or something ridiculous like that. But all he did was say, "next time". I cant tell you how relieved I was to hear that. But I think my mind kept going with it apparently in my dream.... Stupid over active imagination. Good grief.
I also went running today on my own today... Ive been really itching for a good run for awhile now. I miss my track days where I was running everyday and in shape and could actually run without dying... But I felt like a paranoid lard on this run while dodging land mines of dog poop. I wanted music so I didnt have to hear comments as I ran past so I had to stuff my ipod up my shirt somehow, and the beginning of my run seemed to be more panicked sprint than anything else. Not the relaxed run I was hoping for, but I made it back home alive, hooray. I want to make this more of a regularity before I get home so I can make it a habit there as well.
I also went all out dork today and watched a documentary on World War II... well it was actually a documentary on Band of Brothers, which I have and have watched at least 200 times over. So much that I can almost recite their lines. I just get really interested in new facts about the wars and history has always been something that I have loved. I love seeing new cultures and subcultures and researching and learning them. I have the right amount of curiosity and wanderlust for this type of thing I guess.
And I think that I may have what I want to do figured out... I think I want to major in ESL (English as a second language) and minor in Spanish... I think. I never wanted to be a teacher, adn I thought being here solidified that thought... But I got so incredibly excited the other week when I actually felt like I taught and accomplished something, I want that feeling to stay. Maybe this is what God wants of me? Maybe I should stop trying to decipher what God is trying to tell me, but then again when are you supposed to stop?
And maybe I should do myself a favor and shut my mind off for awhile and sleep.... fat chance of that happening.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Caribbean Life
I have come to learn that I just... Love the Caribbean. I love the life, love "rasta." Though I could do without the self-meditating and drugs, I think theyve almost got it figured out. Things are slower, more relaxed. The culture here is completely different, they even have their own language thats like a mixture of English and Spanish and it just doesnt sound like anything ive heard before. It has a lot of Jamaican influence as well, its just the right mixture of all these different cultures to make their own and I have grown to really love it. Just one day at a time and it was such a refresher to be able to visit that side of the country again this past weekend.
It turned out to be a girls weekend, (which I was totally ok with) Monica, Kristen, her friend Santana and I all went to Puerto Viejo and had a lovely weekend (no pictures, forgot my camera DANG.). The rain hardly stopped... but for some reason I really didnt mind. It was just nice to have found this lovely piece of country. The rain really didnt stop us from doing much, we got to rent bikes for $6 for 24 hours... and they were really cool old fashion bikes that I wish I had at home and were a lot of fun to ride. It was so much fun, you could ride them anywhere and unlike Bocas... there were actual places to go on them instead of that one part! I really enjoyed everyones company, especially the quiet times we had to sit with some coffee and read.
There werent many failures or mishaps on this trip... Usually if we have someone who knows what theyre doing things dont usually go wrong. If Monica werent with us we would be so lost. But when swimming in the ocean, both Kristen and I got stung by something... Mine lasted the entire day, on the inside of my elbow it looked like three little welts and the whole area was red and stung for the whole day. No idea what that was, but it was slightly uncomfortable, and more water made it almost worse. I was also in this next one... While everyone else was swimming, I wondered off a little ways and went in sand and I sunk all the way to my ankles, I went to run just to get out of it and stepped in a bunch of really sharp rocks and got several painful cuts on the bottom of my one foot making it pretty uncomfortable to walk. Today at school I used most of my time trying not to limp around like a dork because of a nicely placed cut.
Over all this weekend was pretty top notch... But I am really really looking forward to going to Managua, Nicaragua this weekend and I WILL remember my camera this time and take lots and lots and lots of cool pictures. My time is running out here pretty fast. But I am trying not to already think of things that I am going to miss about this country and I havent even left yet! It seems to be cut so short... But then again I have days where Im excited and then sad to be leaving. Less than 4 weeks, I cant believe it.
God grant me peace.....
It turned out to be a girls weekend, (which I was totally ok with) Monica, Kristen, her friend Santana and I all went to Puerto Viejo and had a lovely weekend (no pictures, forgot my camera DANG.). The rain hardly stopped... but for some reason I really didnt mind. It was just nice to have found this lovely piece of country. The rain really didnt stop us from doing much, we got to rent bikes for $6 for 24 hours... and they were really cool old fashion bikes that I wish I had at home and were a lot of fun to ride. It was so much fun, you could ride them anywhere and unlike Bocas... there were actual places to go on them instead of that one part! I really enjoyed everyones company, especially the quiet times we had to sit with some coffee and read.
There werent many failures or mishaps on this trip... Usually if we have someone who knows what theyre doing things dont usually go wrong. If Monica werent with us we would be so lost. But when swimming in the ocean, both Kristen and I got stung by something... Mine lasted the entire day, on the inside of my elbow it looked like three little welts and the whole area was red and stung for the whole day. No idea what that was, but it was slightly uncomfortable, and more water made it almost worse. I was also in this next one... While everyone else was swimming, I wondered off a little ways and went in sand and I sunk all the way to my ankles, I went to run just to get out of it and stepped in a bunch of really sharp rocks and got several painful cuts on the bottom of my one foot making it pretty uncomfortable to walk. Today at school I used most of my time trying not to limp around like a dork because of a nicely placed cut.
Over all this weekend was pretty top notch... But I am really really looking forward to going to Managua, Nicaragua this weekend and I WILL remember my camera this time and take lots and lots and lots of cool pictures. My time is running out here pretty fast. But I am trying not to already think of things that I am going to miss about this country and I havent even left yet! It seems to be cut so short... But then again I have days where Im excited and then sad to be leaving. Less than 4 weeks, I cant believe it.
God grant me peace.....
Friday, May 6, 2011
Useless Emotions
The other day I got mad... mad. Not frustrated, not annoyed, not pissed... mad.
Its been awhile since that emotion has reared its ugly little head. What a useless emotion that is. What does getting mad help? What does it accomplish? Absolutely nothing. I kind of had to step back from the situation and think... When I get mad it usually doesnt last very long, and it usually makes me feel guilty and stupid for having the feeling anyways and this makes you a little grumpy to acknowledge that it was probably for a stupid reason, even if you feel your anger is justified. Its just a downward and pointless spiral.
Besides, "A fools mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul" Proverbs 18:7
"Be angry and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your bed, and be silent.
Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord." Psalms 4:4
Its been awhile since that emotion has reared its ugly little head. What a useless emotion that is. What does getting mad help? What does it accomplish? Absolutely nothing. I kind of had to step back from the situation and think... When I get mad it usually doesnt last very long, and it usually makes me feel guilty and stupid for having the feeling anyways and this makes you a little grumpy to acknowledge that it was probably for a stupid reason, even if you feel your anger is justified. Its just a downward and pointless spiral.
Besides, "A fools mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul" Proverbs 18:7
"Be angry and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your bed, and be silent.
Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord." Psalms 4:4
Theres a lot to think and pray about and I pray the Lord gives me peace and wisdom and patience. The future is so uncertain, and I have too many emotions. The heart is forever inexperienced.
"For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks…. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:34
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Safety in numbers
Last night Kristen and I were sitting in our room when I heard a commotion outside. I heard a car alarm (not surprising, they go off almost every hour) and then I heard a bunch of shouting and swearing and scuffling right on the other side of our wall. Then I heard more shouting and at this point I was staring wide eyed at Kristen who had her earphones on and I said... "I think some guys car almost got stolen!" Im sorry, it made me kind of giddy and scared at the same time.
Today we found out that the guy who tried to steal the car pulled a gun out on the owner... This isnt the first time its been this close to home. Our friend Matt had a knife pulled on him right around the corner... The same bus stop we take every single day.
I usually feel safe enough walking around alone during the day, going to San Jose or just simply going for a walk. Though even in the day when Kristen and I are walking around together its just as terrible. I feel intimidated by all the attention and almost a little unsafe, Costa Rican men can shout obscenities at me while wearing a ring, its shameless the way they do this, it just makes me feel gross. I usually dont make eye contact and sometimes this works... but only sometimes.
If I am walking alone at night its usually around the same vicinity that we live. We live in a fairly decent neighborhood and I am not always worried.... But the closer this gets to home the more afraid I am to walk alone places. The attention gets worse when the sun goes down.... But usually the only person I see and greet on the street is the street guard, which makes me feel safe in a way but then again I am an American girl... I just dont trust the men here, not unless its someone Ive met in the school or at the church or something.
I should probably clarify that I do feel safe in the area that I live in. But then these things happen and it makes you think twice about acting too comfortable because these things do happen. I have this thing called an overactive imagination, like one night I thought someone was walking on our roof and I was afraid to look at the window in fear that I would see some perpetrator standing there staring at me sleep. This imagination of mine makes me think of every possible situation I could be in and come up against here. I always have a plan A and a plan B in my head when I go places, which could get me in trouble.
Well, on to better and brighter things!
Today we found out that the guy who tried to steal the car pulled a gun out on the owner... This isnt the first time its been this close to home. Our friend Matt had a knife pulled on him right around the corner... The same bus stop we take every single day.
I usually feel safe enough walking around alone during the day, going to San Jose or just simply going for a walk. Though even in the day when Kristen and I are walking around together its just as terrible. I feel intimidated by all the attention and almost a little unsafe, Costa Rican men can shout obscenities at me while wearing a ring, its shameless the way they do this, it just makes me feel gross. I usually dont make eye contact and sometimes this works... but only sometimes.
If I am walking alone at night its usually around the same vicinity that we live. We live in a fairly decent neighborhood and I am not always worried.... But the closer this gets to home the more afraid I am to walk alone places. The attention gets worse when the sun goes down.... But usually the only person I see and greet on the street is the street guard, which makes me feel safe in a way but then again I am an American girl... I just dont trust the men here, not unless its someone Ive met in the school or at the church or something.
I should probably clarify that I do feel safe in the area that I live in. But then these things happen and it makes you think twice about acting too comfortable because these things do happen. I have this thing called an overactive imagination, like one night I thought someone was walking on our roof and I was afraid to look at the window in fear that I would see some perpetrator standing there staring at me sleep. This imagination of mine makes me think of every possible situation I could be in and come up against here. I always have a plan A and a plan B in my head when I go places, which could get me in trouble.
Well, on to better and brighter things!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Making History
As all of you should know or have heard, the US killed Osama Bin Ladin after searching and playing hide and seek with him for 10 years.
10 years, 2 wars, 919,967 deaths AND
$1,188,236,000,000 later, we managed to kill
one person. Hope it was worth it.
Being able to sit in Costa Rica while history is being made back home was almost like being the fly on the wall. People were celebrating and remembering their loved ones from 9/11... But how can we celebrate the death of an unsaved man? Ive just had this weird feeling all day. I am sorry but this isnt something that I can celebrate. He was evil, of course but this isnt the end. Al Queda may have lost its mascot but its not going to back down. The blind dedication of this one group to their cause has weighed on our Country... This wont just end now. Many think justice has finally been served, but what justice? What right do we have? And what now? They already threw his body out to sea for all we know it could be a hoax.
Thinking in this way will drive you crazy, I know... because its been on my mind all day. Justice has not been rightfully served.
"Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?" Ezekiel 33:11
10 years, 2 wars, 919,967 deaths AND
$1,188,236,000,000 later, we managed to kill
one person. Hope it was worth it.
Being able to sit in Costa Rica while history is being made back home was almost like being the fly on the wall. People were celebrating and remembering their loved ones from 9/11... But how can we celebrate the death of an unsaved man? Ive just had this weird feeling all day. I am sorry but this isnt something that I can celebrate. He was evil, of course but this isnt the end. Al Queda may have lost its mascot but its not going to back down. The blind dedication of this one group to their cause has weighed on our Country... This wont just end now. Many think justice has finally been served, but what justice? What right do we have? And what now? They already threw his body out to sea for all we know it could be a hoax.
Thinking in this way will drive you crazy, I know... because its been on my mind all day. Justice has not been rightfully served.
"Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?" Ezekiel 33:11
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Pictures from far off places
Here are some pictures that I took and also some that I borrowed from my Norwegian friend Sam because I stalked his Norwegian blog and he had a nice camera :)
This was taken right as soon as we got on the other side of the bridge to Panama. The clouds were just right and it was gorgeous.
These were the bathrooms in our Hostel...
I love old cars... and I really loved this car probably for its color. I simply loved it.
To get to Red Frog Beach on one of the Islands in Bocas, we had to walk this boardwalk that almost looked like a swamp, this was just perfect placements.
Red Frog Beach... This looks like a postcard, but it was so beautiful.
One of our water taxi rides... The dimensions in this picture are awesome.
The first of Sondre's pictures, this is one of the many docks around the island Im guessing?
I think this is off the border bridge to and from Costa Rica and Panama, just the opposite side that I took the first picture on.
This is Lobo, one of the Islanders dog's. This is an incredible picture, especially with the moon! This was the hammock dock off of our Hostel.
This is the crew! I laugh at this picture for a couple reason... And I think it needs to have some explaining. Sondre has this nice camera... That could be confusing to use. We asked the waitress to take a picture of the group of us and it took her a while to get the picture and ended up taking a picture of our heads, so Sondre was demonstrating and I didnt know he was taking the picture- thus everyone else has nice smiles and I am laughing at something that was said while eating... or something? Maybe I was trying to get something out of my teeth. Either way, I look like a huge dork.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Bocas del Toro, Panama
My apology for not posting again for awhile, we are just finishing up Semana Santa, which is Easter week here in Costa Rica and everyone had the week off for vacation.
Matt and I had to go on a "visa run" and get out of the country so that we wouldnt have any problems trying to get back home because we went over our 3 month visas. So we decided to go to Bocas del Toro, Panama which is located on the Isa Colon. It was an absolutely gorgeous island, and I would recommend going there again to anyone! Though when we first got there, my first reaction was to just get back on the water taxi and go back home to Costa Rica. For some reason I instantly missed the Greens, my tiny room, demon dogs and the like. I just wanted to be home where things were familiar. It was odd, because I love travel, I love meeting people and I love new places. But I found myself spending most mornings alone as much as I could with a cup of coffee and a wonderful view, trying to snap myself out of it.
We met so many people that it was ridiculous, on the bus we met 3 girls that worked in Honduras as teachers in a international school, and at the point of meeting them we were all in survival mode just trying to get to the island in one piece. I find you meet survival mode when youre traveling like we do. We also 4 guys from Guatemala that they had met in a hostel in San Jose. I cant say that I really connected with any of them, but we still had some good times. We also ended up connected with two women we had met about a month ago in Manuel Antonio who are also teachers in a different part of San Jose and also a Norwegian named Sam or Sondre who was hilarious. I was so incredibly happy to see them, Monica is in her mid 50's I believe and shes a retired school principal and decided to spend her retirement teaching in Costa Rica. Jodi is almost 30 and is also a teacher at the same school, we celebrated her 29th in Bocas before we left. I cant explain why I felt so relieved to see these women, perhaps it was familiarity, or safety because I didnt exactly feel that way with the other people. I just felt like myself, and the last few days I had a great time with them.
I surprisingly had a lot of opportunities to witness to people. It was completely unexpected and out of the blue... But it was completely amazing and a little sad. One of the people that stick out in my mind the most is a man, I dont know his name, but I had seen him drunk for 3 days straight at our hostel. Everytime I would see him I shook my head... what a life. Jodi seemed to get sucked into talking to him and some other pretty shady guys, so me, feeling like the mother goose decided to protect what she decided not to and made sure they kept their hands off her. We were sitting at a table, I had just come and sat by Jodi and didnt plan on contributing to their conversations... But the man in question was wearing a shirt that said: "Keep God out of California." and they were talking about it, one of the guys must have seen the look on my face even though I said nothing and said, "I wonder what she thinks" and I said, "I dont think you want to really know what I think about that t-shirt." And there were a lot of 'ohhhhhs' and the guy went "OH NO, youre not a Christian are you?" I said, "of course I am, diehard, until the day I die" then followed up with, "good luck keeping God out of California because youre surrounded by Him everyday." he laughed at me, and lifted up his shirt and showed me a big tattoo that said "dont trust God." I was instantly filled with a strange kind of sadness for this man, and I asked him why he felt the need to tattoo those things on his body and wear t-shirts like that and why he hated God so much. He said that he really doesnt care, where was God when his 2 best friends got gunned down? He loved his life, he lived in LA and was a drug dealer and a hustler, he never regretted a thing. His father was born in Mexico and both of his parent disowned him because of his tattoos and his life. I asked him if that made him sad and he said no, not at all. I asked him if he ever felt sad or lonely about his life, and he said absolutely not. As I started to question him further his friend started to back me up, asking why as well... Why didnt he question this man earlier? Was it just because he provided the drugs to this boy? The beer? If he believed in God why would he be such good friends with someone who hated him? The other guys that were sitting at the table, laughed at all the things I said more because they knew I was speaking the truth and they knew it was true and were laughing at their "friend". They kept saying "man, youre killing him, youre killing him!"
I told him I had a purpose here, God sent me here in Costa Rica to do His work. I told him that his only purpose was in that beer bottle, or how drunk he can get every night and how much a fool he can make of himself. I told him I wasnt going to change his opinion on God, that I felt incredible sadness for him. As I was talking my heart was racing but I felt a calmness to be able to get the words out, I was looking straight into his eyes and I kept detecting flashes of sadness and vulnerability. I told him he made my sad, because he knowingly put himself into an oblivious stupor. He gave up his soul so that he could enjoy the pleasures of this world, and laugh in my face. I dont think I would be the one that could give him the words that could give him to God, but maybe God put me there at that time so that I could speak the truth. So that I could be so completely and brutely honest to this man about his life that he would start to think. I dont think he will remember me, I dont think I was that significant because Im sure hes had many people try to reform him. Later that night, everytime he saw me while I was passing through he would ask me if I hated him, if we were friends if we were good. I said I didnt hate him, but he made me sad.
I know this became a novel again, but that story sticks out in my mind from this trip. As Christians we are so blessed to have had a God that sent his only Son to die for our sins. To die for that mans sins. How often do we look at this feast layed out before us and refuse to take any of it. What a wonderful God we have that he loved us to much to want to save us from that kind of life. Imagine what the world would be like with out God. I wouldnt be living. How we are called to go into the world as sheep with the faces of lions. We are going to be laughed at, we are going to be ridiculed. This life is not the end. How incredible.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Matt and I had to go on a "visa run" and get out of the country so that we wouldnt have any problems trying to get back home because we went over our 3 month visas. So we decided to go to Bocas del Toro, Panama which is located on the Isa Colon. It was an absolutely gorgeous island, and I would recommend going there again to anyone! Though when we first got there, my first reaction was to just get back on the water taxi and go back home to Costa Rica. For some reason I instantly missed the Greens, my tiny room, demon dogs and the like. I just wanted to be home where things were familiar. It was odd, because I love travel, I love meeting people and I love new places. But I found myself spending most mornings alone as much as I could with a cup of coffee and a wonderful view, trying to snap myself out of it.
We met so many people that it was ridiculous, on the bus we met 3 girls that worked in Honduras as teachers in a international school, and at the point of meeting them we were all in survival mode just trying to get to the island in one piece. I find you meet survival mode when youre traveling like we do. We also 4 guys from Guatemala that they had met in a hostel in San Jose. I cant say that I really connected with any of them, but we still had some good times. We also ended up connected with two women we had met about a month ago in Manuel Antonio who are also teachers in a different part of San Jose and also a Norwegian named Sam or Sondre who was hilarious. I was so incredibly happy to see them, Monica is in her mid 50's I believe and shes a retired school principal and decided to spend her retirement teaching in Costa Rica. Jodi is almost 30 and is also a teacher at the same school, we celebrated her 29th in Bocas before we left. I cant explain why I felt so relieved to see these women, perhaps it was familiarity, or safety because I didnt exactly feel that way with the other people. I just felt like myself, and the last few days I had a great time with them.
I surprisingly had a lot of opportunities to witness to people. It was completely unexpected and out of the blue... But it was completely amazing and a little sad. One of the people that stick out in my mind the most is a man, I dont know his name, but I had seen him drunk for 3 days straight at our hostel. Everytime I would see him I shook my head... what a life. Jodi seemed to get sucked into talking to him and some other pretty shady guys, so me, feeling like the mother goose decided to protect what she decided not to and made sure they kept their hands off her. We were sitting at a table, I had just come and sat by Jodi and didnt plan on contributing to their conversations... But the man in question was wearing a shirt that said: "Keep God out of California." and they were talking about it, one of the guys must have seen the look on my face even though I said nothing and said, "I wonder what she thinks" and I said, "I dont think you want to really know what I think about that t-shirt." And there were a lot of 'ohhhhhs' and the guy went "OH NO, youre not a Christian are you?" I said, "of course I am, diehard, until the day I die" then followed up with, "good luck keeping God out of California because youre surrounded by Him everyday." he laughed at me, and lifted up his shirt and showed me a big tattoo that said "dont trust God." I was instantly filled with a strange kind of sadness for this man, and I asked him why he felt the need to tattoo those things on his body and wear t-shirts like that and why he hated God so much. He said that he really doesnt care, where was God when his 2 best friends got gunned down? He loved his life, he lived in LA and was a drug dealer and a hustler, he never regretted a thing. His father was born in Mexico and both of his parent disowned him because of his tattoos and his life. I asked him if that made him sad and he said no, not at all. I asked him if he ever felt sad or lonely about his life, and he said absolutely not. As I started to question him further his friend started to back me up, asking why as well... Why didnt he question this man earlier? Was it just because he provided the drugs to this boy? The beer? If he believed in God why would he be such good friends with someone who hated him? The other guys that were sitting at the table, laughed at all the things I said more because they knew I was speaking the truth and they knew it was true and were laughing at their "friend". They kept saying "man, youre killing him, youre killing him!"
I told him I had a purpose here, God sent me here in Costa Rica to do His work. I told him that his only purpose was in that beer bottle, or how drunk he can get every night and how much a fool he can make of himself. I told him I wasnt going to change his opinion on God, that I felt incredible sadness for him. As I was talking my heart was racing but I felt a calmness to be able to get the words out, I was looking straight into his eyes and I kept detecting flashes of sadness and vulnerability. I told him he made my sad, because he knowingly put himself into an oblivious stupor. He gave up his soul so that he could enjoy the pleasures of this world, and laugh in my face. I dont think I would be the one that could give him the words that could give him to God, but maybe God put me there at that time so that I could speak the truth. So that I could be so completely and brutely honest to this man about his life that he would start to think. I dont think he will remember me, I dont think I was that significant because Im sure hes had many people try to reform him. Later that night, everytime he saw me while I was passing through he would ask me if I hated him, if we were friends if we were good. I said I didnt hate him, but he made me sad.
I know this became a novel again, but that story sticks out in my mind from this trip. As Christians we are so blessed to have had a God that sent his only Son to die for our sins. To die for that mans sins. How often do we look at this feast layed out before us and refuse to take any of it. What a wonderful God we have that he loved us to much to want to save us from that kind of life. Imagine what the world would be like with out God. I wouldnt be living. How we are called to go into the world as sheep with the faces of lions. We are going to be laughed at, we are going to be ridiculed. This life is not the end. How incredible.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Bad blogger, bad.
So I havent posted in awhile, I apologize. Life got a little crazy, and then a boy named Michael came along (yes, I know youll be reading this eventually). So I will give a basic summary on what has happened, and the adventures that we had.
First of all, we woke up extremely early again to head to Manuel Antonio and to see some sun since it had been not so sun shiny in San Jose, and per Michaels orders for a beach, we went! When we got there, everything was normal, the same sun, beach, people, the same guy that always hits on you and wants to give you a massage... Normal. It was looking a little grey before we went for lunch (and we rented a surf board!) and then it started raining off and on and then pretty steadily for the rest of the day. I was a little disappointed, but it was still fun and I can now say that I tried to surf, even though my twiggy arms didnt let me go too far.
There was also a plan to go bungee jumping on Monday since I had no school thanks to a national Costa Rican hero day, but when I tried to call the place 10 times in the morning I finally found out that the bridge was closed for some reason for another 2 weeks! Thanks for letting me know 4 days ago when I had e-mailed them! It was probably by far one of the biggest disappointments, but we actually spent the entire day Monday exploring. It was pretty fantastic. Hiked the jungle... I was in sandals, we had no machete and stepped in a whole valley of toranchulas.... twice. Walked through a ton of burrs and were continually picking them off eachother. But the view was priceless. What an adventure.
We also got the opportunity to take Bill Greens' bike up to this really beautiful look out over the city. It was a little late in the day so it was a bit cloudy. The drive up was gorgeous, motos are definitely the way to travel. The whole time I had this giddy feeling that kept bubbling in my throat. It just reminds me of summer and absolutely awesome times. I cant wait for it!
Allllso, we went to a concert last night which was a complete success! All in all, good good week. One more day of class and then next weeks Semana Santa and its beach time! and probably the last time I will see the sun for awhile me thinks. Then April is almost over and then I only have 5 weeks here. Yikes. I have mixed feelings about that, but all in Gods timing! Everything in Gods timing.
First of all, we woke up extremely early again to head to Manuel Antonio and to see some sun since it had been not so sun shiny in San Jose, and per Michaels orders for a beach, we went! When we got there, everything was normal, the same sun, beach, people, the same guy that always hits on you and wants to give you a massage... Normal. It was looking a little grey before we went for lunch (and we rented a surf board!) and then it started raining off and on and then pretty steadily for the rest of the day. I was a little disappointed, but it was still fun and I can now say that I tried to surf, even though my twiggy arms didnt let me go too far.
There was also a plan to go bungee jumping on Monday since I had no school thanks to a national Costa Rican hero day, but when I tried to call the place 10 times in the morning I finally found out that the bridge was closed for some reason for another 2 weeks! Thanks for letting me know 4 days ago when I had e-mailed them! It was probably by far one of the biggest disappointments, but we actually spent the entire day Monday exploring. It was pretty fantastic. Hiked the jungle... I was in sandals, we had no machete and stepped in a whole valley of toranchulas.... twice. Walked through a ton of burrs and were continually picking them off eachother. But the view was priceless. What an adventure.
We also got the opportunity to take Bill Greens' bike up to this really beautiful look out over the city. It was a little late in the day so it was a bit cloudy. The drive up was gorgeous, motos are definitely the way to travel. The whole time I had this giddy feeling that kept bubbling in my throat. It just reminds me of summer and absolutely awesome times. I cant wait for it!
Allllso, we went to a concert last night which was a complete success! All in all, good good week. One more day of class and then next weeks Semana Santa and its beach time! and probably the last time I will see the sun for awhile me thinks. Then April is almost over and then I only have 5 weeks here. Yikes. I have mixed feelings about that, but all in Gods timing! Everything in Gods timing.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
You get what you ask for!
Yesterday I got my 7th tutor... 7..seven... SEVEN. When in the world did that happen?! I'm so nervous with all of this! God has a plan, definitely. But I should have taken a class on ESL (english as a second language) before I came. I didn tknow what I was going to be doing exactly here... But man! 7 tutors?? What craziness is this?
AND I will be getting tutored as well. So much learning going on here, one way or another. Ive been doing tons of research on how I can properly teach conversational English, I just need to have a structure to what I teach. Then I should be alright, but in the meantime, ah! If anyone has some suggestions on how I should teach conversational English, let me know!
My weeks are certainly filling up which I am incredibly greatful for. I am still pretty tired from some allergic reaction to something I ate on Sunday, BUT its gotten much better. I am such a bad patient. I hate taking pills, id rather it just go away without them. Ive built up a pretty good pain tolerance anyhow.
This week is going pretty slow I feel, I keep having some weird space dreams too. Last night I was looking at the Super moon pictures that we apparently had in March and it reminded me of this weird apocolyptic dream I had a few months ago where the moon ping ponged into the earth a couple times and it basically erupted into lava and volcano. Then there were radiation zombies coming after me with torquoise eyes. Weird eh? Well, last night I also had a weird space dream where I was caught outside the spaceship and they started heading towards earth, I look next to me and there someone else and i asked them if we could possibly live through the atmosphere... Well apparently we did. The other part of the dream was all my friends from home and I sitting around eating pizza and someone told me that I was fat and I needed to move over on the couch. I never know whats going on in my head sometimes.
Anyways, I am really looking forward to the next couple of weeks and crazy adventures that are just waiting to be had. Also, heres to newer beginnings, and new mindset, and no more whining, and mangos.
AND I will be getting tutored as well. So much learning going on here, one way or another. Ive been doing tons of research on how I can properly teach conversational English, I just need to have a structure to what I teach. Then I should be alright, but in the meantime, ah! If anyone has some suggestions on how I should teach conversational English, let me know!
My weeks are certainly filling up which I am incredibly greatful for. I am still pretty tired from some allergic reaction to something I ate on Sunday, BUT its gotten much better. I am such a bad patient. I hate taking pills, id rather it just go away without them. Ive built up a pretty good pain tolerance anyhow.
This week is going pretty slow I feel, I keep having some weird space dreams too. Last night I was looking at the Super moon pictures that we apparently had in March and it reminded me of this weird apocolyptic dream I had a few months ago where the moon ping ponged into the earth a couple times and it basically erupted into lava and volcano. Then there were radiation zombies coming after me with torquoise eyes. Weird eh? Well, last night I also had a weird space dream where I was caught outside the spaceship and they started heading towards earth, I look next to me and there someone else and i asked them if we could possibly live through the atmosphere... Well apparently we did. The other part of the dream was all my friends from home and I sitting around eating pizza and someone told me that I was fat and I needed to move over on the couch. I never know whats going on in my head sometimes.
Anyways, I am really looking forward to the next couple of weeks and crazy adventures that are just waiting to be had. Also, heres to newer beginnings, and new mindset, and no more whining, and mangos.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Oh how these weekends fly.....
Today is Sunday already, where in the world did the weekend go??
In any case, today was actually pretty refreshing-even though my brain hurts. I visited the Venegas' house all afternoon with Kristen. So. Much. Spanish. Its making my head spin! I know more than I realize, I can understand a lot actually. Though I have to think about things before I say them, most of the time I think of the right response after the conversation, or I think of the right response and trip over my tongue. Ayyy. The thing about Spanish or learning it, youre reduced to an elementary vocabulary thus reducing theirs so that you can understand. Its a little funny to think about. They were super hospitable and I was very thankful for their kindness and delicious food!
I met this man named Graham who tutors English at a University... He was a little weird though, he kept leaning over to explain the main points of the sermon to me, which I appreciated. Then he would talk to me during prayer or in the middle of the song. To be honest it became a little annoying when he continued to do it getting 2 inches from my face, and then would keep getting closer to me even though I was as far over as the pew would allow. He seemed very interested in how much Spanish I knew and what I did and where I came from... He invited me out to lunch, which I had plans (phew), but also wanted to tutor me in Spanish-though hes going to be gone for 3 weeks starting Tuesday (double phew, I will have a different one at that point!).
On a brighter, less creepy note I picked up 2 more tutors, Ricardo and Cindy Venegas. They want more help with their conversational English (I dont think they know I am only 20 haha). Though Im pretty nervous... i'm looking up different ways of teaching it, but I havent taken ESL courses before so i'm not sure how to go about anything! I am researching ways that they would best learn, ways that I could best teach them and make the time productive. Its just different than teaching the younger crowd. But this is good for me. I think.
There is a lot on my plate thats for sure. Plus I might be the tutored one as well for once, which is exciting for me because I have been doing so much teaching lately. I cant wait to be a student again. I also hope that through all of this tutoring that I can become better at my own language. It would help to be able to write better, so that I dont read back on things I wrote and continue to be un-impressed :). You are your own worst critics and all that.
Also, I dont know how its possible to be so attached to a place with its people, yet still be kind of homesick. Maybe I just need to stop thinking, my brain hurts.
In any case, today was actually pretty refreshing-even though my brain hurts. I visited the Venegas' house all afternoon with Kristen. So. Much. Spanish. Its making my head spin! I know more than I realize, I can understand a lot actually. Though I have to think about things before I say them, most of the time I think of the right response after the conversation, or I think of the right response and trip over my tongue. Ayyy. The thing about Spanish or learning it, youre reduced to an elementary vocabulary thus reducing theirs so that you can understand. Its a little funny to think about. They were super hospitable and I was very thankful for their kindness and delicious food!
I met this man named Graham who tutors English at a University... He was a little weird though, he kept leaning over to explain the main points of the sermon to me, which I appreciated. Then he would talk to me during prayer or in the middle of the song. To be honest it became a little annoying when he continued to do it getting 2 inches from my face, and then would keep getting closer to me even though I was as far over as the pew would allow. He seemed very interested in how much Spanish I knew and what I did and where I came from... He invited me out to lunch, which I had plans (phew), but also wanted to tutor me in Spanish-though hes going to be gone for 3 weeks starting Tuesday (double phew, I will have a different one at that point!).
On a brighter, less creepy note I picked up 2 more tutors, Ricardo and Cindy Venegas. They want more help with their conversational English (I dont think they know I am only 20 haha). Though Im pretty nervous... i'm looking up different ways of teaching it, but I havent taken ESL courses before so i'm not sure how to go about anything! I am researching ways that they would best learn, ways that I could best teach them and make the time productive. Its just different than teaching the younger crowd. But this is good for me. I think.
There is a lot on my plate thats for sure. Plus I might be the tutored one as well for once, which is exciting for me because I have been doing so much teaching lately. I cant wait to be a student again. I also hope that through all of this tutoring that I can become better at my own language. It would help to be able to write better, so that I dont read back on things I wrote and continue to be un-impressed :). You are your own worst critics and all that.
Also, I dont know how its possible to be so attached to a place with its people, yet still be kind of homesick. Maybe I just need to stop thinking, my brain hurts.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Your life is much bigger than a good job, an understanding spouse, and non-delinquent kids. It is bigger than beautiful gardens, nice vacations and fashionable clothes. In reality, you are a part of something immense, something that began before you were born and will continue after you die. God is rescuing fallen humanity, transporting them into His kingdom, and progressively shaping them into His likeness- and He wants you to be a part of it.
Your life is much bigger than you ever imagined. You live in one moment in time, yet you stand hand-in-hand with the generations of unknown believers who understood their place in the kingdom and did their part in its work. only as you keep this huge world in view will you be able to live and serve effectively in the small world where God has placed you.
-Paul David Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemers hands
Does this not just speak to what I JUST posted a few days ago?? Lord Almighty, you are mighty.
Blessings all mine...
I am incredibly blessed in so many ways. God surely does provide and I am humbled and thankful for the generosity that has been shown to me here.
I am also incredibly excited for the next few weeks, its going to be packed with visits and adventures. We also have Semana Santa which is Easter week and we have the entire week off. As of now I have a pretty awesome week ahead of me, starting in Boca del Toros, Panama and ending in Limon, Costa Rica. (Disclaimer: I have to go out of the country as per visa orders. I will be here over 3 months and I have to have proof that I have been out of the country for 72 hours in order to appease customs. But yes, it is going to be a blast- a necessary evil :-p)
Its tentative, but enough to get me excited for April, which will be over before I know it! That month is going to fly by. After Semana Santa, I am really hoping that I will be able to start tutoring in Spanish, it may be a little late for that, but if I am able to learn even more Spanish and CLEP out of Spanish in College (if I am able to go back, which I wont be this fall anymore) that will save me thousands of dollars.
I am still trying to decide whether or not I am excited to go back home... I would be totally ok with everyone just moving down here... So how about it? Whose going to move down here with me?
The longer Kristen and I live together the more and more I believe we are turning into an old married couple...
"Where are my glasses?"
"Dont let me forget to put in my eye drops"
"Where are my keys?"
"Whats for dinner tonight?"
"Whats with all that noise??"
*Random day discussions about bad children, child psychology and good food. We stay up late talking about bears and polar bears and how waitressing is the worst job ever.
We have ridiculous arguments like- whether there are islands in Lake Michigan (I looked it up, there are islands in the NORTHERN part of Lake Michigan, which is also what I said. booyah. :)).
The problem is, I dont think either of us is the husband because we have both tended to cry and crave cookies.
Anyways, I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. I get to go to the market again tomorrow! Love the market, love food, love Costa Rica.
Chau!
I am also incredibly excited for the next few weeks, its going to be packed with visits and adventures. We also have Semana Santa which is Easter week and we have the entire week off. As of now I have a pretty awesome week ahead of me, starting in Boca del Toros, Panama and ending in Limon, Costa Rica. (Disclaimer: I have to go out of the country as per visa orders. I will be here over 3 months and I have to have proof that I have been out of the country for 72 hours in order to appease customs. But yes, it is going to be a blast- a necessary evil :-p)
Its tentative, but enough to get me excited for April, which will be over before I know it! That month is going to fly by. After Semana Santa, I am really hoping that I will be able to start tutoring in Spanish, it may be a little late for that, but if I am able to learn even more Spanish and CLEP out of Spanish in College (if I am able to go back, which I wont be this fall anymore) that will save me thousands of dollars.
I am still trying to decide whether or not I am excited to go back home... I would be totally ok with everyone just moving down here... So how about it? Whose going to move down here with me?
The longer Kristen and I live together the more and more I believe we are turning into an old married couple...
"Where are my glasses?"
"Dont let me forget to put in my eye drops"
"Where are my keys?"
"Whats for dinner tonight?"
"Whats with all that noise??"
*Random day discussions about bad children, child psychology and good food. We stay up late talking about bears and polar bears and how waitressing is the worst job ever.
We have ridiculous arguments like- whether there are islands in Lake Michigan (I looked it up, there are islands in the NORTHERN part of Lake Michigan, which is also what I said. booyah. :)).
Anyways, I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. I get to go to the market again tomorrow! Love the market, love food, love Costa Rica.
Chau!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Dia de los Deportes
Today was pretty fun, it was the kids' day off for Dia de los Deportes which is a national holiday in all of Central America I was told. They were actually surprised that we didnt have it in the US!
Kristen and I were in charge of making 'copas' which are snow cones, but totally different than any that we have in the US. They use evaporated and sweet and condensed milk, and its way too good- we ate at least 3 each.
These are some of my favorite pictures from today:
I have more photos, but it would fill the page, so everyone should just wait for the facebook to be back up to see more :).
Kristen and I were in charge of making 'copas' which are snow cones, but totally different than any that we have in the US. They use evaporated and sweet and condensed milk, and its way too good- we ate at least 3 each.
These are some of my favorite pictures from today:
They played games like Volleyball
Had some delicious food
One of my tutor kids named Abbi
Jimena, one of my Kindergardeners
Aixa, Tiffany-Preschool
Jimena, so photogenic!
Dahlia- Kinder
Daniela, Tiffany, Amanda
Kimberly, Aixa- all my students
The water balloon fights!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Futures and stuff
Sometimes I feel pretty selfish for thinking about my future, to get a good job, get a degree. I know its not to a point, but why do we worry so much about our future that it consumes our thoughts and dont give a second thought to the Kingdom? Thats what we should be working towards instead of a successful future. We work towards the Kingdom of God because that is our ultimate end and new beginning. Sometimes a successful future is granted to us, its a blessing if that is what is in Gods will for us, if its not we have to be just as thankful.
Sometimes I feel like I am going to have this really cool future, get a cool job and be alright, just alright. Other times I feel like I am going to be working in a coffee shop for the rest of my life wondering where I went wrong and struggling from paycheck to paycheck like now. With the amount of debt that is collected when going to school, it almost seems impossible to get yourself out of the quicksand. It makes you wonder if its worth it. Should I even give school, a degree another thought? How can I afford this?
I am only 20, 20! How in the world am I so young? And how in the world am I in so much debt already? And why does it surprise me every time I think of my age? I have so much more life to live, I have so many more experiences and adventures and struggles and tears. I know I am not done here. And I know that God provides ways for us, but I just feel like I am stuck in this quicksand.
Maybe this is too personal, but hey, life is personal. Get over it.
Sometimes I feel like I am going to have this really cool future, get a cool job and be alright, just alright. Other times I feel like I am going to be working in a coffee shop for the rest of my life wondering where I went wrong and struggling from paycheck to paycheck like now. With the amount of debt that is collected when going to school, it almost seems impossible to get yourself out of the quicksand. It makes you wonder if its worth it. Should I even give school, a degree another thought? How can I afford this?
I am only 20, 20! How in the world am I so young? And how in the world am I in so much debt already? And why does it surprise me every time I think of my age? I have so much more life to live, I have so many more experiences and adventures and struggles and tears. I know I am not done here. And I know that God provides ways for us, but I just feel like I am stuck in this quicksand.
Maybe this is too personal, but hey, life is personal. Get over it.
Monday, March 28, 2011
La Zoologico!
Today I got to spend the day with the preschool-2nd grades on their trip to the Zoo in Heredia. To give you the right picture, it was an hour and a half bus ride packed with students whose attention spans are less than 2 minutes. They actually behaved well for awhile, they were chanting almost the whole way. And since I was sitting next to the 2nd grade boys they were pretty crazy and wouldnt stay in their seats very well.
When we finally got there it was time to sit for their morning snack before we went in. Im slowly figuring out the Costa Rican customs, it seems like they have breakfast, and then a mid morning snack and then lunch. There is always a scheduled snack, by the time I get to the school at 9:15 there are kids at the picnic tables eating their morning snack. Im not sure if this is a custom or if its a way for the school to make sure that the students arent going crazy telling their teacher theyre hungry all the time. I also notice that Gilda doesnt ever stop cooking it seems. Shes always cooking something and theyre constantly eating almost everytime we go in or out. Which also means we are always jealous.
I took maybe 3 pictures before my camera died... I forgot to charge the battery :(. But I did get to see some cool animals, most of them slept because today, especially in Heredia it was super hot. I also got to talk to the teachers more, most of the time we were split up, but for the most part I understood and was able to make responses back to them and have them understand me! I was pretty excited about that. I have a long way to go with my Spanish though.
This is also day 1 of no facebook and I already feel better. Facebook shouldnt have that much control over a person, and I have no idea how it became so prevalent in society. I just think I have better things to do than worry about who was online and didnt message me back after a week kind of thing. Its unnecessary and a little stupid, so im glad its gone. I also have been working on my application to Kuyper College, I think I have everything out that needs to go and Im basically waiting for things to get back to me on whether or not they were sent out. Im a little excited to be a student again. Being a teacher has made me appreciate being a student more. I would really like to be taught instead of doing the teaching sometimes, even though while I am here Im being taught new things everyday. The world being the classroom and all that.
Theres this weird thing about blogs though... People can read this and be updated on what ive done and what Im doing... But without the obligation of my hearing what other people are doing. I have started to miss people, its been over a month that Ive been here so I would really like to be updated on peoples lives.
I felt like I had more to write on this... But I write novels anyways, welcome to what its like to be in my head sometimes.
When we finally got there it was time to sit for their morning snack before we went in. Im slowly figuring out the Costa Rican customs, it seems like they have breakfast, and then a mid morning snack and then lunch. There is always a scheduled snack, by the time I get to the school at 9:15 there are kids at the picnic tables eating their morning snack. Im not sure if this is a custom or if its a way for the school to make sure that the students arent going crazy telling their teacher theyre hungry all the time. I also notice that Gilda doesnt ever stop cooking it seems. Shes always cooking something and theyre constantly eating almost everytime we go in or out. Which also means we are always jealous.
I took maybe 3 pictures before my camera died... I forgot to charge the battery :(. But I did get to see some cool animals, most of them slept because today, especially in Heredia it was super hot. I also got to talk to the teachers more, most of the time we were split up, but for the most part I understood and was able to make responses back to them and have them understand me! I was pretty excited about that. I have a long way to go with my Spanish though.
This is also day 1 of no facebook and I already feel better. Facebook shouldnt have that much control over a person, and I have no idea how it became so prevalent in society. I just think I have better things to do than worry about who was online and didnt message me back after a week kind of thing. Its unnecessary and a little stupid, so im glad its gone. I also have been working on my application to Kuyper College, I think I have everything out that needs to go and Im basically waiting for things to get back to me on whether or not they were sent out. Im a little excited to be a student again. Being a teacher has made me appreciate being a student more. I would really like to be taught instead of doing the teaching sometimes, even though while I am here Im being taught new things everyday. The world being the classroom and all that.
Theres this weird thing about blogs though... People can read this and be updated on what ive done and what Im doing... But without the obligation of my hearing what other people are doing. I have started to miss people, its been over a month that Ive been here so I would really like to be updated on peoples lives.
I felt like I had more to write on this... But I write novels anyways, welcome to what its like to be in my head sometimes.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
The Series of Unfortunate Events
I am just going to start out this post with a disclaimer of sorts:
Since there had been a few people that had been hinting at doubting what I am doing in Costa Rica, as in being here for some sort of vacation. I had decided that I wasnt going to post pictures, or blog about the things that I would do on my own time here in Costa Rica. It was strictly going to be of what I was doing volunteer wise. But the more I thought about it... The more I decided that no, I would write about the things I am doing here... everything. I am in a different country, I will travel when I can, and I would love for everyone to know about it without being afraid of what theyll think of me here. There are so many interesting things that happen, especially culture wise when traveling. Also the funny little things that happen along the way that make it memorable. I will not cheapen myself of the pleasure of retelling. So here it goes....
This weekend we (Matt, Kristen and I) decided that we would go check out this Cafe/bar that had some art galleries in downtown San Jose, we didnt want a late night because our goal for Saturday was to wake up early to go see Volcan Irazu and go to a art festival in Turrialba (it took me way too long to get this name right). And Kristen and I were completely cashed from a hard week at the school. We went searching for this place all over to find out that it had closed 2 years before and moved... typical. So we decided to go to a different bar that had some great nachos and music the last time we had gone. Only to find out that the person playing that night was the Costa Rican version of Michael Buble, only he wasnt good at all. We went home early,(the nachos were still delicious).
The next morning, Kristen and I woke up super late and were late in meeting Matt at the bus stop. None of us really knew what bus to get on for the Volcano, we had the bus schedule but it lied. So we asked about 5 different people where to go and everyone telling us different ways to get there. I dont know if its that Costa Ricans get kicks out of sending us poor gringos in circles... Or if they actually have no idea, they just give random street numbers and send us on our way. It was the same way when Kristen and I were trying to find the non-existant music store in San Jose all week. Sent completely in circles! After finally making it to the bus stop, we found out we missed the bus, and there was only one per day. Awesome.
Well, plan B. Since we were in Cartago we checked out Los Ruinas, the ruins. This building was destroyed by an earthquake and was rebuilt, 10 years later it was destroyed again by an earthquake so they decided that they would just leave it how it is. Now its just a major attraction in Cartago. So we checked that out, and met a man named Victor, Victor was blind, 60 year old man who was single, and he loved the girls. He really wanted to talk to us and practice his English, so we got caught talking to him for about 15 minutes.... This made us miss our bus into Turrialba, blame Victor. Sat at the station for about a half hour and got the last sitting tickets (YES! First time thats ever happened!) to Turrialba. I sat next to this odd guy that had family there, he talked to me about a lot of things on the way there.... He also talked on the phone with someone about me... Saying my name super loudly so that I heard over my headphones. It was odd, an hour bus ride later we apparently made a new friend and also made it into Turrialba.
Turrialba turned out to be a small town nestled in some mountains and boy, was it a hot day! After getting into town it became evident that this town had never seen the likes of Gringos if at all, then not very often. There were ten times the stares and the talking, and women making sure we knew the men were theirs. We figured out quickly that the art festival we thought would be a bigger deal was pretty small and not that important. It was kind of like a county fair of sorts, but it was still pretty fun. We spent most of the time exploring the city and stayed long enough to hear a "Big band" play, they played a lot of jazz music which made me really miss swing nights in Grand Rapids. I really wanted to dance, but Matt didnt know how. Bummer. In this town, we met a man who came up to us and started talking to Matt... At first I thought he was trying to barter with Matt, seeing if he would share these two Gringas, but it turned out he wanted us to have a drink with him. We said no thank you about a million times but he didnt get the hint. He was talking very fast so I didnt catch all of what he said, but from what I know, he grabbed my hand and blessed it. He then placed my blessed hand on his forehead and chin. I was pretty confused but I guess didnt want to cheat him out of my now blessed hand... He then left and came back with milk boxes for all of us, and then was trying to convince us to have food with him. He didnt leave for a long time, and even tried to get Kristen to kiss his thumb. When he finally left, I think we all made a big sigh of relief and enjoyed the band before we left. On our way back to the bus, Matt and I were going to take a stab at swing dancing because the BEST song started to play. As soon as we stopped... There came man-who-blessed-my-hand... So we walked away quickly.
It was a long sticky and sweaty day, but it was full of adventure. And it even ended with a hot pink hammock that was only $20 dollars.
My apologies for a novel, but if you made it this far congrats! Who knows what the next days will bring, Monday I am going to the Zoo with my students, basically they are letting me tag a long, but I am using this to get to know the other Teachers in the school as well as seeing a pretty cool zoo :). More on that soon!
Buenos noches!
Since there had been a few people that had been hinting at doubting what I am doing in Costa Rica, as in being here for some sort of vacation. I had decided that I wasnt going to post pictures, or blog about the things that I would do on my own time here in Costa Rica. It was strictly going to be of what I was doing volunteer wise. But the more I thought about it... The more I decided that no, I would write about the things I am doing here... everything. I am in a different country, I will travel when I can, and I would love for everyone to know about it without being afraid of what theyll think of me here. There are so many interesting things that happen, especially culture wise when traveling. Also the funny little things that happen along the way that make it memorable. I will not cheapen myself of the pleasure of retelling. So here it goes....
This weekend we (Matt, Kristen and I) decided that we would go check out this Cafe/bar that had some art galleries in downtown San Jose, we didnt want a late night because our goal for Saturday was to wake up early to go see Volcan Irazu and go to a art festival in Turrialba (it took me way too long to get this name right). And Kristen and I were completely cashed from a hard week at the school. We went searching for this place all over to find out that it had closed 2 years before and moved... typical. So we decided to go to a different bar that had some great nachos and music the last time we had gone. Only to find out that the person playing that night was the Costa Rican version of Michael Buble, only he wasnt good at all. We went home early,(the nachos were still delicious).
The next morning, Kristen and I woke up super late and were late in meeting Matt at the bus stop. None of us really knew what bus to get on for the Volcano, we had the bus schedule but it lied. So we asked about 5 different people where to go and everyone telling us different ways to get there. I dont know if its that Costa Ricans get kicks out of sending us poor gringos in circles... Or if they actually have no idea, they just give random street numbers and send us on our way. It was the same way when Kristen and I were trying to find the non-existant music store in San Jose all week. Sent completely in circles! After finally making it to the bus stop, we found out we missed the bus, and there was only one per day. Awesome.
Well, plan B. Since we were in Cartago we checked out Los Ruinas, the ruins. This building was destroyed by an earthquake and was rebuilt, 10 years later it was destroyed again by an earthquake so they decided that they would just leave it how it is. Now its just a major attraction in Cartago. So we checked that out, and met a man named Victor, Victor was blind, 60 year old man who was single, and he loved the girls. He really wanted to talk to us and practice his English, so we got caught talking to him for about 15 minutes.... This made us miss our bus into Turrialba, blame Victor. Sat at the station for about a half hour and got the last sitting tickets (YES! First time thats ever happened!) to Turrialba. I sat next to this odd guy that had family there, he talked to me about a lot of things on the way there.... He also talked on the phone with someone about me... Saying my name super loudly so that I heard over my headphones. It was odd, an hour bus ride later we apparently made a new friend and also made it into Turrialba.
Turrialba turned out to be a small town nestled in some mountains and boy, was it a hot day! After getting into town it became evident that this town had never seen the likes of Gringos if at all, then not very often. There were ten times the stares and the talking, and women making sure we knew the men were theirs. We figured out quickly that the art festival we thought would be a bigger deal was pretty small and not that important. It was kind of like a county fair of sorts, but it was still pretty fun. We spent most of the time exploring the city and stayed long enough to hear a "Big band" play, they played a lot of jazz music which made me really miss swing nights in Grand Rapids. I really wanted to dance, but Matt didnt know how. Bummer. In this town, we met a man who came up to us and started talking to Matt... At first I thought he was trying to barter with Matt, seeing if he would share these two Gringas, but it turned out he wanted us to have a drink with him. We said no thank you about a million times but he didnt get the hint. He was talking very fast so I didnt catch all of what he said, but from what I know, he grabbed my hand and blessed it. He then placed my blessed hand on his forehead and chin. I was pretty confused but I guess didnt want to cheat him out of my now blessed hand... He then left and came back with milk boxes for all of us, and then was trying to convince us to have food with him. He didnt leave for a long time, and even tried to get Kristen to kiss his thumb. When he finally left, I think we all made a big sigh of relief and enjoyed the band before we left. On our way back to the bus, Matt and I were going to take a stab at swing dancing because the BEST song started to play. As soon as we stopped... There came man-who-blessed-my-hand... So we walked away quickly.
It was a long sticky and sweaty day, but it was full of adventure. And it even ended with a hot pink hammock that was only $20 dollars.
My apologies for a novel, but if you made it this far congrats! Who knows what the next days will bring, Monday I am going to the Zoo with my students, basically they are letting me tag a long, but I am using this to get to know the other Teachers in the school as well as seeing a pretty cool zoo :). More on that soon!
Buenos noches!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Independence.
This week I had it in my brain that I was going to strike out on my OWN. I was going to explore by myself, make sure I knew where everything was. It was such a daunting task, but hey gotta grow up sometime? I went to San Jose with Kristen, but she ended up leaving when we couldnt find this ominous and obviously non-existant music store to find violin books. We stopped for coffee at this cool looking place but it ended up not having that good of coffee (mental note). And then she left for a skype date with the boyfriend.
I stayed and went through a really cool artisan market, since I was gringa and basically the only one in there at the time, I was swarmed by the booth people. I ended up with the souvenirs I needed and came back home.
This week has been unfairly cold for being Costa Rica. Today was just about the first day that we've seen sun since Friday, !que ridiculo! Its been pretty crazy, one of the teachers is sick from school with the chicken pox, so I had to cover his exam classes today. The day started out kind of horribly. The 8th grade class I was sitting in on was atrocious. One of the kids got mad at me for not letting him get his dictionary.... in a grammar exam. Finished the test and slammed the door when going to the bathroom. Then he came back and started making fun of me, much to the rest of the classes amusement. And talked for the rest of the time, not listening to me when I told them to be quiet. I really hope that I wasnt this bad when I was that young... Well, I wasnt, I never talked period. I guess I wouldnt expect immediate respect from these kids because I am not like them and I cant understand a ton of Spanish. Regardless, its not something I should take personally, but it was awful. The rest of the day went just fine, I sat in on another exam almost up until I had to tutor and then tutored until 3 and then we were picked up by Rosie Lamme, one of the missionary wives here to have dinner at their house at about 3:30. I am so greatful for her and her kindness!
I am totally exhausted and tired of talking period, after trying to shout above kids all day to get them to be quiet Im surprised I didnt lose my voice. I just dont want to talk anymore. The good thing though, is that Spanish is seeming to become more like second nature to me. It was easier for me to speak at some points today, and I understood it well. My brain needs a rest... until tomorrow when I do it all over again.
Daniel... why must you have chicken pox???
I stayed and went through a really cool artisan market, since I was gringa and basically the only one in there at the time, I was swarmed by the booth people. I ended up with the souvenirs I needed and came back home.
This week has been unfairly cold for being Costa Rica. Today was just about the first day that we've seen sun since Friday, !que ridiculo! Its been pretty crazy, one of the teachers is sick from school with the chicken pox, so I had to cover his exam classes today. The day started out kind of horribly. The 8th grade class I was sitting in on was atrocious. One of the kids got mad at me for not letting him get his dictionary.... in a grammar exam. Finished the test and slammed the door when going to the bathroom. Then he came back and started making fun of me, much to the rest of the classes amusement. And talked for the rest of the time, not listening to me when I told them to be quiet. I really hope that I wasnt this bad when I was that young... Well, I wasnt, I never talked period. I guess I wouldnt expect immediate respect from these kids because I am not like them and I cant understand a ton of Spanish. Regardless, its not something I should take personally, but it was awful. The rest of the day went just fine, I sat in on another exam almost up until I had to tutor and then tutored until 3 and then we were picked up by Rosie Lamme, one of the missionary wives here to have dinner at their house at about 3:30. I am so greatful for her and her kindness!
I am totally exhausted and tired of talking period, after trying to shout above kids all day to get them to be quiet Im surprised I didnt lose my voice. I just dont want to talk anymore. The good thing though, is that Spanish is seeming to become more like second nature to me. It was easier for me to speak at some points today, and I understood it well. My brain needs a rest... until tomorrow when I do it all over again.
Daniel... why must you have chicken pox???
Saturday, March 19, 2011
On the Rockies
This week was pretty much a huge rollercoaster for both Kristen and I.
For one, we craved chocolate and cookies ALL week. This was one of those cravings that you just think about all the time and its just about the only thing you think about. On top of that we were both pretty emotional, Thursday afternoon after school we both sat on our beds and literally cried to each other about our various problems... and finished off the chocolate bar I had gotten the night before. It was actually pretty refreshing to be able to do with someone. Its one thing to room together and share everything, but we can share emotions and struggles together. I am glad for the discussions we had, and how we could encourage eachother through that time.
I think its hard for a native English speaker to come to another country, knowing little or none of the language spoken there, and trying to teach. A lot of the time the kids dont respect the teacher, and get in the habit of giving blank looks and telling you they dont understand when you know for a fact they do. Since I have more free time than I wanted, it gives me a heck of a lot of time to think. This is always pretty dangerous, I will never say thinking is a bad thing, but you are your own worst enemy. There have been a few people that have questioned the work Ive done here, or if im doing anything at all. At first it hurt me, I feel that my character has been questioned a lot since Ive been gone. But I KNOW what i'm doing here, and I know that i'm doing good even if others doubt me. God knows me, He knows my thoughts, my prayers and my struggles. Thats all I should worry about, not what other people are thinking of me.
Its been a lot of discovery this week. I dont feel like the same person that got off that plane, and I dont think Ill be the same person that gets off it again when I touch American soil. Im so thankful to be here, struggles and all. I know that we dont often praise the struggles we have until we are out of them... Im not out of my struggles yet here, but I am thankful. I mean, what is the point of all of this if you arent going to let it change you?
I dont mean to be writing a novel, but I think this weekend was definitely what we needed. It was completely relaxed a bit cold and miserable, but relaxed. Friday night we decided to stay in and watch the Breakfast Club and slept as late as we could... Which wasnt late at all, and got up to go to the market and shopped for food for the next couple weeks. Got home and I made some no-bake cookies, which were definitely super dooper easy and were a hit with Gilda and Carlos and their whiney grandchild. She even asked for the recipe! We wandered downtown San Jose for awhile also, looking for some Artisan Market we couldnt find to meet a girl we had met during the week. We didnt find it after wandering around for an hour, but ended up stopping for some coffee at a place called Toastadora(?), it was ssuuuuper good. We are finding some franchises in Costa Rica that we like like, Pops, Toastadora, and Muss Mani so far.
That being said, I am looking forward to spending the day with the Greens tomorrow, and hopefully trying to understand what is being said in the sermon. Buenos noches!
For one, we craved chocolate and cookies ALL week. This was one of those cravings that you just think about all the time and its just about the only thing you think about. On top of that we were both pretty emotional, Thursday afternoon after school we both sat on our beds and literally cried to each other about our various problems... and finished off the chocolate bar I had gotten the night before. It was actually pretty refreshing to be able to do with someone. Its one thing to room together and share everything, but we can share emotions and struggles together. I am glad for the discussions we had, and how we could encourage eachother through that time.
I think its hard for a native English speaker to come to another country, knowing little or none of the language spoken there, and trying to teach. A lot of the time the kids dont respect the teacher, and get in the habit of giving blank looks and telling you they dont understand when you know for a fact they do. Since I have more free time than I wanted, it gives me a heck of a lot of time to think. This is always pretty dangerous, I will never say thinking is a bad thing, but you are your own worst enemy. There have been a few people that have questioned the work Ive done here, or if im doing anything at all. At first it hurt me, I feel that my character has been questioned a lot since Ive been gone. But I KNOW what i'm doing here, and I know that i'm doing good even if others doubt me. God knows me, He knows my thoughts, my prayers and my struggles. Thats all I should worry about, not what other people are thinking of me.
Its been a lot of discovery this week. I dont feel like the same person that got off that plane, and I dont think Ill be the same person that gets off it again when I touch American soil. Im so thankful to be here, struggles and all. I know that we dont often praise the struggles we have until we are out of them... Im not out of my struggles yet here, but I am thankful. I mean, what is the point of all of this if you arent going to let it change you?
I dont mean to be writing a novel, but I think this weekend was definitely what we needed. It was completely relaxed a bit cold and miserable, but relaxed. Friday night we decided to stay in and watch the Breakfast Club and slept as late as we could... Which wasnt late at all, and got up to go to the market and shopped for food for the next couple weeks. Got home and I made some no-bake cookies, which were definitely super dooper easy and were a hit with Gilda and Carlos and their whiney grandchild. She even asked for the recipe! We wandered downtown San Jose for awhile also, looking for some Artisan Market we couldnt find to meet a girl we had met during the week. We didnt find it after wandering around for an hour, but ended up stopping for some coffee at a place called Toastadora(?), it was ssuuuuper good. We are finding some franchises in Costa Rica that we like like, Pops, Toastadora, and Muss Mani so far.
That being said, I am looking forward to spending the day with the Greens tomorrow, and hopefully trying to understand what is being said in the sermon. Buenos noches!
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