My apology for not posting again for awhile, we are just finishing up Semana Santa, which is Easter week here in Costa Rica and everyone had the week off for vacation.
Matt and I had to go on a "visa run" and get out of the country so that we wouldnt have any problems trying to get back home because we went over our 3 month visas. So we decided to go to Bocas del Toro, Panama which is located on the Isa Colon. It was an absolutely gorgeous island, and I would recommend going there again to anyone! Though when we first got there, my first reaction was to just get back on the water taxi and go back home to Costa Rica. For some reason I instantly missed the Greens, my tiny room, demon dogs and the like. I just wanted to be home where things were familiar. It was odd, because I love travel, I love meeting people and I love new places. But I found myself spending most mornings alone as much as I could with a cup of coffee and a wonderful view, trying to snap myself out of it.
We met so many people that it was ridiculous, on the bus we met 3 girls that worked in Honduras as teachers in a international school, and at the point of meeting them we were all in survival mode just trying to get to the island in one piece. I find you meet survival mode when youre traveling like we do. We also 4 guys from Guatemala that they had met in a hostel in San Jose. I cant say that I really connected with any of them, but we still had some good times. We also ended up connected with two women we had met about a month ago in Manuel Antonio who are also teachers in a different part of San Jose and also a Norwegian named Sam or Sondre who was hilarious. I was so incredibly happy to see them, Monica is in her mid 50's I believe and shes a retired school principal and decided to spend her retirement teaching in Costa Rica. Jodi is almost 30 and is also a teacher at the same school, we celebrated her 29th in Bocas before we left. I cant explain why I felt so relieved to see these women, perhaps it was familiarity, or safety because I didnt exactly feel that way with the other people. I just felt like myself, and the last few days I had a great time with them.
I surprisingly had a lot of opportunities to witness to people. It was completely unexpected and out of the blue... But it was completely amazing and a little sad. One of the people that stick out in my mind the most is a man, I dont know his name, but I had seen him drunk for 3 days straight at our hostel. Everytime I would see him I shook my head... what a life. Jodi seemed to get sucked into talking to him and some other pretty shady guys, so me, feeling like the mother goose decided to protect what she decided not to and made sure they kept their hands off her. We were sitting at a table, I had just come and sat by Jodi and didnt plan on contributing to their conversations... But the man in question was wearing a shirt that said: "Keep God out of California." and they were talking about it, one of the guys must have seen the look on my face even though I said nothing and said, "I wonder what she thinks" and I said, "I dont think you want to really know what I think about that t-shirt." And there were a lot of 'ohhhhhs' and the guy went "OH NO, youre not a Christian are you?" I said, "of course I am, diehard, until the day I die" then followed up with, "good luck keeping God out of California because youre surrounded by Him everyday." he laughed at me, and lifted up his shirt and showed me a big tattoo that said "dont trust God." I was instantly filled with a strange kind of sadness for this man, and I asked him why he felt the need to tattoo those things on his body and wear t-shirts like that and why he hated God so much. He said that he really doesnt care, where was God when his 2 best friends got gunned down? He loved his life, he lived in LA and was a drug dealer and a hustler, he never regretted a thing. His father was born in Mexico and both of his parent disowned him because of his tattoos and his life. I asked him if that made him sad and he said no, not at all. I asked him if he ever felt sad or lonely about his life, and he said absolutely not. As I started to question him further his friend started to back me up, asking why as well... Why didnt he question this man earlier? Was it just because he provided the drugs to this boy? The beer? If he believed in God why would he be such good friends with someone who hated him? The other guys that were sitting at the table, laughed at all the things I said more because they knew I was speaking the truth and they knew it was true and were laughing at their "friend". They kept saying "man, youre killing him, youre killing him!"
I told him I had a purpose here, God sent me here in Costa Rica to do His work. I told him that his only purpose was in that beer bottle, or how drunk he can get every night and how much a fool he can make of himself. I told him I wasnt going to change his opinion on God, that I felt incredible sadness for him. As I was talking my heart was racing but I felt a calmness to be able to get the words out, I was looking straight into his eyes and I kept detecting flashes of sadness and vulnerability. I told him he made my sad, because he knowingly put himself into an oblivious stupor. He gave up his soul so that he could enjoy the pleasures of this world, and laugh in my face. I dont think I would be the one that could give him the words that could give him to God, but maybe God put me there at that time so that I could speak the truth. So that I could be so completely and brutely honest to this man about his life that he would start to think. I dont think he will remember me, I dont think I was that significant because Im sure hes had many people try to reform him. Later that night, everytime he saw me while I was passing through he would ask me if I hated him, if we were friends if we were good. I said I didnt hate him, but he made me sad.
I know this became a novel again, but that story sticks out in my mind from this trip. As Christians we are so blessed to have had a God that sent his only Son to die for our sins. To die for that mans sins. How often do we look at this feast layed out before us and refuse to take any of it. What a wonderful God we have that he loved us to much to want to save us from that kind of life. Imagine what the world would be like with out God. I wouldnt be living. How we are called to go into the world as sheep with the faces of lions. We are going to be laughed at, we are going to be ridiculed. This life is not the end. How incredible.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
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