I have been back home for about 2 weeks now. So what now? I cant begin to explain how difficult this transition has been for me. In some ways its unexplainable. Who knew that 3.5 months in a different country would change my perspective so much or that I would make so many observations that its just been overloading my brain. I am thankful to be home. Its been refreshing to see the improvements in myself. Though in those 2 weeks its been a constant inner psycho-analysis, I have not felt completely myself and find myself more observing people than actually getting involved in a conversation. However, the past few days I have felt more myself. I have laughed, joked, and smiled- it was like a drink of fresh water.
Its back to being overloaded with bills that I cant pay and pointless- I am going to sit on the phone for 5 hours a day trying to talk to people who dont want to talk to me- jobs. I wanted the challenge and I got it there. I may be going back to school this fall and still try to work as much as I can so I can get some of this debt below my eyeballs. I also may be able to take more Spanish lessons this summer and I am really happy for that because I miss Spanish and I want to continue it. I am thankful for what God has given me, and every struggle hes given me is under His providence and I am trying so hard to trust and be faithful and fruitful, I just wish I had direction.
I vow that I will be more dedicated to sit and meditate on Gods word, to sit and listen to what He has to say to me... even if its not something I want to hear. I want to be more broken for the things that break God. The broken heart still beats, I need to be more broken for Him. So heres my prayer.
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