Today was a beautiful day as was yesterday, though it cooled down a lot this afternoon when the clouds covered the sun.
Today was also my first day teaching the "prepa" Kindergardeners and "kinder" Preschoolers.
I woke up 2 hours early just so I wouldnt forget to do something and to go over the materials a few times before class.
It ended in tears as I was terrified of these kids in the first place, thinking theyd see right through my act as the confident teacher. The Kindergarden class flew by, it wasnt bad at all! They were good, I didnt forget to do anything in the morning routine, it went fairly smoothly. Then came the preschoolers. They hardly speak English and are "brand new" to English so I kept hearing my name and a bunch of Spanish that I didnt understand. I knew they got frustrated with me, because I could not understand what they were saying half the time. I barely got through any sort of lesson because one of the girls kept raising her hand to say something every sentence I got through the book.
I believe God thinks I can handle this, so I can. Even though I want to quit and go back to the familiar places Im used to. Drop me anywhere in the United States, anywhere and Id know how to live. I have no idea how to live here. But I am learning, and even though I feel exhausted at the end of the day from trying to think in Spanish, God is seeing me through. All a person needs is some food, the sun, and some music and I was peachy the rest of the day.
Kristen and I are figuring out our routine, right now I wake up when she leaves at 7am and then we come back at lunchtime together, and when we are finished at school together and have a cup of coffee (its SO good here!). We come home and sit in out open kitchen for the night planning or cooking. We are trying to be cost effective here, and we are trying to get used to the money exchange to find the better prices.
I think we will make it through.
Jaco beach tomorrow for the day! Excited to be something other than white, even if it means being red. :)
Chau!
Heath! :)
ReplyDeleteI was on your FB profile trying to see if you had any updates on your stay in Costa Rica, and look what I came across!!
Wow, I read all of the posts you've made up until now, and it all sounds so amazing!
I'm so proud of the person you are, and the internal one you are developing more and more. You are such a beautiful woman :)
The doubt and need for familiarity is absolutely normal. Even I, when I moved WITH my family, TO family and to a country where I DO speak the language fluently was constantly on the lookout for familiarity, and also doubting the things that were happening ect ect..The advice that goes along with this novel? Hold in there, be strong, and remember WHY you want to do this. Think daily of the motivation you have: YOU have the ability to help children in need, help develop them (in some of the earliest years) into the great and successful people they will be when they grow up. And you will know that you were part of that. That if this is all you can ever do, you will have made at least one impact in your lifetime. Isn't that beautiful to think about?
I have two quotes for you:
1. “Being defeated is often a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent."- Marilyn Vos Savant
2.“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You are able to say to yourself,
‘I lived through this horror.
I can take the next thing that comes along.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Being able to cal you one of my best friends brings me such joy :) now you know.
Love and miss you loads!
-Jackie
You are wise beyond your years my dear. Thanks so much for those words! Kristen, my roomate and I really appreciated the new perspective. Its a kind of homesickness is it not? Its not that I miss everyone per say. I do miss them, but this kind of homesickness is different. I knowyou totally understand it. Love ya dear :).
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