Today I woke up with craving some sense of familiarity. There is nothing familiar about this place at all, not even a familiar face can I turn to. I cant believe I am in a different country, never would I have imagined that this would come true. I always wanted to do something like this, but I dont think I was fully prepared to come on my own. I am a fairly independent person, I know that God has given me the ability to handle all things, so He has given me that same ability to handle this.
I went to the school today to check out my classroom and my curriculum and felt completely lost. Remember the time I said that I didnt ever want to be a teacher? That I never wanted to do that? Well.... Here I am... Doing it. I had this strange sense that I am not really qualified to be teaching these children. I have the tangible fear that I will ruin their English skills from the very start. But I also think that I need more confidence in God. I need to get my mind out of the gutter. but I cant help but be completely raw about things.
On a higher note, I was very productive today, I planned our Saturday trip (!!) to Manuel Antonio beach and finalized my finances. Which, finances worried me a bit. I have all I need for rent, but in staying here for 16 weeks, I projected that I can spend 12.75 dollars, which is about 6200 colons on food. Kristen told me she spends about $30 a week, but that was mostly on staple things. So we could really use prayer on that point.
Tonight we are going out for this guy Matts birthday, I am not sure what we are going to do, but I am very excited to meet more people! I am also very surprised at how much my Spanish has picked up in the few days Ive been here. I am still alittle afraid to speak out if I dont have to... But I listen more and more and study when I can. I am very excited to come back and be more fluent!
hey there my love!
ReplyDeleteGlad to here you made it! I can totally relate to being in an unfamiliar place but stick with it. I also remember the fear of putting myself out there and speaking in Spanish, even though it isn't perfect (and I still feel like I have a long way to go. Now I try to say the things that come to mind and not hesitate when I am speaking Spanish. I am running into the same fear again with the Mayan language here, just got to put myself out there and commit the mistakes that I don't really want to but ones that will help me to grow and learn. My prayers are with you in this time and remember that God just wants a willing heart and He will help you with the rest, so trust in Him. He's got your back! I love you and I am thinking of you!
Kels
Thanks dear!
ReplyDeleteThey are actually pretty forgiving here when I make a mistake, they love that I try. I get to practise with Gilda my land lady sometimes because she will come and talk to me. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do! Im totally willing to learn and make mistakes, and I understand that I will! Praise God! Hope Guatemala is being good to you dear!
Love you!
Hi honey!!! I finally got signed up to write on your blog...believe me it was not easy for me!!! Oh and here is your hug BIG BIG bear hug! Sounds like a few doubts in your words...but alot of optimism also! I know that this is where God put you...and isnt it amazing when you try to set your plans(like not wanting to be a teacher) and God has other plans for you!? I love it that you are being used in this way..embrace this change my darling...I am soo proud of you and want the best for you! Love you Mom
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